Random things they say

Baby Taz 's speciality is to repeat

'C'est pas juste !' whenever he feels indignated or left out.

Lil Miss N often says to me ' Tu es la parfaite mummy !' or

'Tu es mon grand amour pour toujours/toute la vie'

Baby Taz will continually say 'On a pas ça' which can be heard most often after the bombardment of toy advertisements during the busiest period of the year preceding Christmas/Noël as that is the best time to rouse and brainwash children into action and hence indirectly influencing parents' and general public's gift buying/purchasing decisions.

Bobos

Recapitulative of the major arm breaking or teeth shaking/losing accidents our brood have had thus far:

At the tender age of fifteen months Petit Suisse fell and face planted onto a shelf losing two teeth in the process. His teeth were put back in place at my aunt's dental clinic and he suffered as the only food intake he was allowed for a whole week was liquid : milk and variants of liquid dairy products via a straw. Shrek and I as a sign of solidarity had to sneakily eat our meals whilst Petit Suisse had his naps. Exactly one week later Petit Suisse whilst running around in circles tripped and fell on the wooden floorboard thereby shaking loose the two teeth that had been reimplanted previously that hadn't had a chance to regenerate itself.In a moment of panic he bawled his eyes out and swallowed both his teeth relinquishing it to the depths of his intestine. This time his teeth could not be retrieved or implanted, they were lost forever in the abyss of his intestinal digestive system.

Many days later I found the two self same darkened thus barely recognisable black teeth in his faeces and that was the end of those two frontal teeth for years. Eventually roots for his permanent teeth grew and now his set of teeth is complete.

Lil Miss N whilst playing in the playground one day during her second year as a kindergartener threw herself onto the sliding pole. She must have lost her grip, fell and as a natural defense put out her left arm to temper the fall. It was unclear as to whether anything in her arm was broken and she had it in a DIY splint (attelle). After several days the pain still did not go away so we went for a radiography and a tiny fracture was discovered au niveau de son coude à gauche. A proper splint with plaster/cast was fabricated and she wore it for several weeks...It healed.

Lil Miss Feisty fell on Tuesday 1st November in the afternoon whilst playing in the playground in the school yard where Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N were following their music course. She was playing mischievously on the slide when she decided to climb up against the slide (instead of the staircase designed for the purpose of climbing). She fell onto the ground and in a flurry of panic, precipitation and natural progression of things used her right arm to mitigate the plunge thereby breaking it. I quickly gathered the troops/my brood and sped towards the nearest hospital. Scans were taken and it was determined that she had a fratured palette humérale on her right arm. She was sent home with a temporary splint and transfered to the Children's Hospital. She had to fast for a minimum of 6 hours in order for the surgery to take place. The next morning after having suffered starvation for almost 12 hours tubes were inserted into her veins via needles. She was calm and co-operative during the shenanigans of tube insertion. She became more and more aghast and understandably so with all the tubes and gaz tied up to her. She was most uncomfortable and coupled with hunger wailed, screamed and was unconsolable. She just wanted a milk bottle but she was prohibited from this basic neccessity as we were strenuously waiting for the operation to transpire. She was finally taken to the operation block agitated, given general anasthesie and her fracture was reduced without the need for titan screws. Soulagement !!!!!!!!!!! She now has to wear a plaster splint for the next three weeks. Hopefully it will have healed and tests/scans come back innocuous: tout est en ordre after the three weeks have transpired. One of the biggest challenges we have to face whilst she still has the attelle in place is personal hygiene. Our concern involves the absolute need to avoid humidification of the plâtre which delineates/anticipates no showers or baths of any kind. As it is winter and one does not sweat or perspire nearly as much in this cold climate compared to summer it is a small consolation.

As Lil Miss Feisty's accident was the most recent dates are still fresh : on the 1st November 2011, she fell from a slide and broke her palette humérale and subsequently had to wear a plaster cast, on the 25th November 2011 she had the cast removed. All is well that ends well !

Rapporteur

Our Effacée in CH household is riddled with rapporteurs hence the competition is tight but the biggest and most prolific would be none other than Monsieur Petit Suisse.

Petit Suisse could really qualify for le metier 'espion'. He would be the perfetct candicate as he is constantly reporting on everyone in our household. Frequently throughout the day Petit Suisse can be overheard telling on Baby Taz, Lil Miss N, Shrek or moi and to a lesser (much lesser) extent Lil Miss Feisty. Lil Miss Feisty is his little ray of sunshine.

He would reveal to me what Shrek did in my absence and vice versa which gives me reason to doubt where his loyalty lies. Shrek normally is the master spoiler as he will be way more permissive than me so it's no news when Petit Suisse now and then exposes his dad's foibles and laisser faire attitude. I on the other hand tend to be more severe and heavy handed. I do believe though that without discipline kids and adults will go astray. The trick/delicate nature lies in the handling of the discipline and avoid veering into the extreme prohibitive spectrum which will inspire rebellion.

Petit Suisse is nonetheless A loveable and adorable spy !

Frustrations !

The biggest frustration at the moment for me would be the misunderstanding that arises out of not being able to comprehend langage de Baby Taz and Lil Miss Feisty. Baby Taz will request and demand certain things which to him are self evident but I for the life of me cannot understand his desire/want/need/request because of the language difficulty. He is at that stage where his pronounciation is far from illuminating, instead it is mired with trappings as I often attempt and try my hardest to no avail. Lil Miss Feisty suffers from the same fate. I have extreme difficulty understanding their requests and expressions. Often they will be frustrated because they cannot get through to me, I then turn to Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N for assistance but they too are at a loss as to what Baby Taz and/or Lil Miss Feisty are trying to say. I feel debilitated and helpless at my lack of understanding and inability to comprehend the sensibilities with which they communicate. The two are rendered utterly confused because they cannot fathom how it is possible for me not to be able to fulfil their simple requests. They become more and more agitated to the point of hopelessness. They then frustrate me to no end when they begin their 'crises' and cries and fits of tantrum. The more agitated, the louder the crying and the more frustrated they become...until I simply yell out 'STOP'. It takes a catalyst or some sort to end the misery. Miserable ending but the best solution I have found is to distract them (when they have tired themselves out with all the sulking, temper and hissy fit throwing) by proposing an activity or my last resort television. The ultimate bribe when nothing else works. Sweets of any kind also help.

It will be easier with time and the older they get the clearer their self-expressions and explications will be so I will not have to second guess myself when it comes to their needs and wants.

In the meantime distraction is the key !!!

Recent developments

It is still a battle each night but we are slowly establishing a routine in which kids will eat dinner, teeth will be brushed followed by a daily night prayer for all of our health and well being and finally culminates in the four of them going to bed on their own.

The little hitch in all of this goes by the name of Baby Ben. She tries her hardest to prolong and to evade sleep as much as possible. She will often be heard requesting a milk bottle after her teeth have been brushed. She will also attempt to stay downstairs with us for as long as we allow her to. She eventually surrenders by going upstairs to the bedroom and letting sleep take over.

It is still not a battle won as each night she comes up with des nouvelles idées to distract us from telling her firmly and under no uncertain terms to get to bed already.

Strange kinda day

It was a highly productive day with Shrek managing to install Gorm étagères

I had successfully rangée everything in the storeroom so that nothing was lying precariously on the floor but instead had a neat place on the newly installed Gorm shelves.

etc

We had achieved so much in so little time and were ready to give ourselves pats on the back with a celebratory glass of booze. As it turned out we should not have begun the celebrating because soon after Baby Taz and Lil Miss Feisty misbehaved... They dropped and spread a poisonous substance (which Shrek can fill in...) onto our sofa leaving us with no choice but to immediately give them showers to rid off the stuff. We then had to change the sofa cover and wash the soiled cover.

The expression on Lil Miss Feisty's face was priceless as she attempted to hide her guilt by use of a cover up : she hid behind a card pretending to read it to ruse us.

The kids all went AWOL and I had not the opportunity to indulge in a long hot bath because they refused steadfastly to be in bed and get some shut eye.

TOTALLY exhausting.

Shrek was unnerved and his patience was tested.

We should have had a nice relaxing evening to wind down but alas that was not to be as we were stressed beyond our normal (flexible) limits and decided to call it a night.

Unruly rascals aka Les petits mioches = Extremely exhausted mum !

It is a rule of thumb or Murphy's Law which dictates that I will already have the propensity to be extremely fatigued when my kids decide to run amuck and be rambunctious little rascals or energised bunnies without the relais of the 'off' button.

They will run me ragged and since my patience level is already at an all low point will ram me into the ground. I of course patienceless will be grumpy and stressed out and the vicious cycle turns round and round until it stops when they finally are in bed and I get some rest to fight yet another day.

Luckily I have discovered a good distraction 'Jardin Robinson' named after Robinson Crusoe which is an adventureland wherein the kids from 6-12 years can feed goats, bunnies and chickens, they can plant veggies, do natural craft projects, play society games and sling ont the flying fox to name just a few of the activities. It is my relais...now how do I convince the animateurs that 2 and 3 year olds are not too young and how do I get them to accept Baby Taz and Miss Feisty so that I could have a breather ?

I am thankful that at the very least Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N adore going to Jardin Robinson and that they are fully exploiting all that this little haven for kids has to offer.

Shrek's misery

We have had a long drawn out and painfully excruciating history with bed wetting by the two boys in our family : i.e. Petit Suisse and now Baby Taz.

I remember waking up almost every morning for days on end with a bed soaked in pipi when Petit Suisse was in the process of being nappy-free at night. Mind you he was quite a late bloomer re his potty training: he only managed to be nappy-free during daytime when he was almost four which had us all a little bit worried because apparently there is pressure for kids who are about to embark on kindergarden to be propre. He was nearing the beginning of the school year before he finally kicked his nappies to the curb but not without un besoin pour les nuits. Anyway we had a wrenching and highly frustrating time back then. It was beyond my comprehension how he could urinate so much when he apparently had no liquid intake at night and had (or so I thought) emptied his bladder.

Now is no different : except the big difference being Baby Taz has a bad habit of drinking a minimum of one bottle of water before he can lull himself to sleep. He insists on drinking the water before he will succumb to some shut-eye. He has a tendency to urinate and thereby soaking and soiling the bedsheets, mattress protector and the mattress itself. Shrek as our designated household launderer is pained by such an endless amount of soiled and dirty laundry : bedsheets, mattress protector, blankets, sleeping bags and constant flow of clothes.

I feel his pain and I make it a point of taking Baby Taz to do a wee in the middle of the night and changing him two times and yet he still manages to wet the bed !!!

Frustration lingering and continuing.

I do hope that this saga will end before his fourth birthday. Baby Taz you can be so bothersome, exasperating and a vexing pest in so many ways but we still love you nonetheless, we just wished you'd grow up a bit more and become more responsible and less troublesome.

Dental hygiene

Kids being kids will prefer everything sugary and highly corrosive (especially with relation to their teeth enamel) and harmful for their dental form.

Our primordial concern is to maintain healthy teeth and gums and we have failed miserably as parents because the three who have had dental check-ups all have numerous tooth decays. It is inevitable to reduce their sugar intake and to increase drastically the number of brushing at regular intervals. Their level of awareness re dental hygiene is heightened due to the courses given by dental professionals such as dentists and dental nurses at school but unfortunately the translation from heightened awareness to putting that theory into action is lacking.

I drudgingly and painstakingly have to go through the rigmarole of ensuring each and every one of my kids get their teeth brushed properly at a sufficient length each day. I commence by telling and commanding that Petit Suisse brushes his own teeth first whilst Lil Miss N will also brush her teeth. I go on with the task of brushing Baby Taz and Lil Miss Feisty's teeth. I then turn to verify Petit Suisse's brushwork and finally I brush Lil Miss N's teeth. All of the teeth brushing is done not without struggle from the part of Lil Miss N and Lil Miss Feisty but the biggest teeth gnashing is without a doubt Baby Taz as he wriggles and worms his body about in order to prevent me from giving his teeth a good brushing.

The preceding task before bedtime is the dreaded routine of teeth brushing. Enfin bref I detest this particular part of the day when they prepare for bedtime and I have to scream at the top of my lungs in order to get the message across. I revel in the peace and calm when they all go to bed but moreover to sleep and reverie. I do indulge in and enjoy a glass or two of wine or liqueur as a reward for a fully exhausting day.

Mozzarella bliss or better yet dopage par fromage

We are on an endeavour Shrek and I : an important fromage booster.

Let me clarify : our kids have low probability of being super tall or even tall because Shrek has inherited the 'short genes' from his maternal family. It is a dominant gene. I am of average height. We have thus decided that in order to give our four kids the best possible chance and opportunity to outgrow us their parents and forebearers it is of utmost importance that we boost their cheese intake. I like to refer to it as the 'Cheesy booster'. Our kids do not readily eat cheese eventhough we have access to an abundance of tasty cheeses, a shame really. We are trying at all costs to keep on giving them fromages. Tonight they could not stop popping 'perles de mozzarella' into their mouths. Let's see if that episode repeats itself. I am not entirely fond of mozza myself as I find it bland and utterly boring and tasteless but if my kids can eat cartons of it I am game.

Dopage par fromage : the cheese intake will stimulate growth and maintain strong bones and teeth.

Mes enfants ont pris le goût pour certains fromages: pour l'instant mozza et Fol Epi. C'est contradictoirement ironique car ces fromages qu'ils aiment et rafalent sont pas très goûteux dans mon opinion. Ils aiment aussi Vacherin Fribourgois qui est la seule anomaly dans cette ensemble de fromages sans goût.

Whose fault ?

When pointing at a stain on the wall (one of the many in our apartment) and inquisitively demanding Baby Ben

'Who did this ?'

Quick as a flash and without the slightest hint of hesitation her reply echoed back

'Baby Taz did it.'

Our family consists of finger pointing and it begins at the tender young age of not yet two.

This in fact applies to a myriad of faults, whatever the fault or damage is Baby Ben will be quick to point out that it is her brother Baby Taz (who is by no means innocent) who had dunnit. Baby Taz in turn blames her for every other offence.

On the same token Lil Miss N complained that Baby Ben was bothering her and had headbutted her which resulted in pain and loose teeth. She went on to poutily declare that

'It is Bo's (Shrek) fault as it was his idea of wanting a family of four kids at least resulting in effectively four kids and consequences of having a younger brother and sister implies that I cannot have peace and quiet anymore'

When will the finger pointing stop ? In fact it never really will because human nature dictates that before navel gazing and figuring out our own faults we will blame others, nature, goverments, parents and anyone or anything other than ourselves before we finally realise that 'We are responsible for our own mistakes, faux pas and must own up to it or it will catch up with us eventually.'

Coup de Marketing

A genius coup de marketing has been forged by the Orange Giant Migros which incidentally is the number one supermarket chain in Switzerland. First there was a collection of tropical animals stickers followed by Oceanmania : a similar sticker collection of oceanic creatures. Now comes Nanomania : futile little colourful capsules which serve no purpose other than completing the cutesy collection. It encourages parents via pressure from their kids to spend as much as they can in order to gain nanos so that their kids collections can be completed... For every 20 Swiss Francs spent one nano is obtained- thus The nanos do not come cheaply. The supernano requires three times the price of a normal nano albeit 60 Frans au lieu de 20 Francs.

Needless to say that my kids are also swept by nanomania but so far I have been successful in evading it because we have elderly citizens who pass their nanos onto us.

Weaning

Mummy 1, Baby Ben 0

The final score on the subject of weaning is that I have finally won the battle after a long and drawn out fight which lasted 3 weeks and wherein I began to wonder if I could really resist the urge to just give up and give in already and give the girl what she craves. She behaved like an addict with withdrawal symptoms but I am happy to report that I have now succeeded in limiting her daily breastfeeding feast to once daily and uniquely at night to l'endormir.

I call that a victory !

Hello appetite !

One sure fire way of getting my finicky little Baby Ben to eat is to say in all earnestness

'Do you want Kitty (from Hello Kitty fame) to like you?'

to which her reply is a resounding nod

I continue to plow away

'If you want Kitty to love you you should eat more of this (this being whatever it is I am in the process of spoon feeding her) and then she will be your friend and play with you'

Her appetite is whetted at the mention of Hello Kitty and the irony of it all has not escaped me.

She eats until her hunger has been sated.

Hello Kitty's power is appreciated by me until the day Baby Ben is old enough to nag me to buy her Hello Kitty merchandise to which my reply will be Hello Kitty is a fad and she is everybody's friend not just yours so you need to find a friend who is more unique and special than that insidiously infectious kitty.

Cycle of life

Lil Miss N worriedly catechized me re our mortality

Here is roughly how our conversation went


Miss N : I don't want to die when I get older

Me: It's a part of life sweetie. We all must die some day

Miss N: But I am afraid of death and can't I escape it ?

to which I diverted her attention to something more tangible for now.

Mortality is something human beings have to come to grasp with and I was surprised that it's a preoccupation for Lil Miss N at her tender age of 6 already.

I do hope that this particular preoccupation does not prevent her from enjoying life to the max... one cannot shield oneself from the grasps of death : it is a natural evolution of the cycle of life but one can maximise and make the most of our time here on Earth and that is one thing one can determine and master.

Baby Taz's language evolution

Phrases that Baby Taz are throwing around :

Je vais tout dire à mummy
ça va tomber (repeatedly)
c'est quoi ça
Baby Taz khong muon can be translated to Baby Taz veut pas ça
Baby Taz khong thich can be translated to Baby Taz n'aimes pas ça
Ngay mai mummy mua nha' meaning Mummy will buy it (it being anything) tomorrow
C'est pas bon
C'est pas moi
Bo pété
C'est gagné (thanks Dora)
...

He is expanding his vocabulary and is speaking more sentences and phrases everyday.
He is becoming a precious little boy.
Apart from his temperamental 'crises' and non-stop repetitive and annoying obsessions he is an adorably cute boy. Love you baby Taz

Lice outbreak !

The outbreak of poux parmi nous has struck again and this time noone was spared. We all went through the arduous process of parafin treatment which meant that we oiled our heads so that the lice will suffocate and die a painful death or so I hope after all the itchy and scratchy that went on here at the Lost in Switzerland household.

Lil Miss N is the portal into our auspicious family. She has time and again proven to be our lice carrier and invariably lice are not satisfied with one head they must propagate and find food and expand their population hence it is with much regret and lots of cussing that I go through the rigamorole (silly process and even sillier spelling) of ridding our family of such invasion and intrusion. It is disagreeable and I wish there was a vaccination against these damned pests/parasites !!!

Rambunctious one has struck again

I was furious as I was rudely awaken by his moaning as he was laying literally in a swampy bed (puddle) of pee and moaning nonetheless as it must have been bothering him.
How Baby Taz managed to entirely wet his half of the bed including but not limited to soaking the mattress, alèse, sleeping bag and his clothes and yet maintaining his nappy dry is beyond me !!!!!!!
That boy has the utmost talent for infuriating me... He was profusely apologetic as I was close to reaming him out *.



* ream out : (slang) to scold or reprimand severely

Digging more holes

Overheard in the swirlpool of Vitam'parc

'Papa, laisser la dame passer, tu vois la grosse là bas ?'

The 'grosse dame' en question was just next to Shrek and felt slightly uneasy at this declaration frank but none too diplomatic. Lil Miss N still has a lot to learn before she can fathom a career in diplomacy. I sense that the non-diplomatic gene has been passed onto the next generation and is perpetuating much to a forlorn father's chagrin.
Ha !

Franglais at its best !

My kids have a knack for mangling the French and English and coming up with the most ridiculous Franglais in the process.

They have a tendency to put 're' in front of anything French to denote 'encore'
For instance : Après demain on va re-aller à l'ecole mummy ?
Tomorrow we will go to school again mummy ?