List of dos and don'ts

I have summarised for easy access the major issues from which emanate beaucoup de nos disputes.

1. stinginess : mine in particular, I have to stop thinking petit...this one is difficult but I can take re-assurance in one thing since I am une radine I fit into Swiss society like a bee in a hive because generosity is not the Swiss' forte.

2. Bouts de ficelles : see 1. (this is a recurrent theme)

3. Timeliness : Shrek is very strict when it comes to being on time, it is a principle he has ingrained within. I agree with him when it comes to work and professional obligations but as for personal RDVs etc... I beg to differ : there needs to be some flexibility. I attempt to be on time for cours, école etc but personal RDV between friends and family gatherings are not as inflexible.

4. Hoarding : mine again and Shrek's desire to throw out unneccesary stuff. Enough said, I am a hoarder and Shrek is not, he is the quintessential minimalist here and he would like order, cleanliness and an unencumbered apartment. Unfortunately I cannot and will not be able to meet/attain his high standard. We obviously will have tiffs* over this issue.

5. Preparing for the worst : Shrek's tendency to overthinking and readiness to tackle the worst case scenario usually blows up and he takes all things out of proportion because he gets lost in the anticipation before the actual realisation of an event. Take for instance the most recent example : I had an appointment at the hairdresser's for an eyelash extension at 12h30 on December 10th. Shrek being prévoyant had dreamed up the scenario that involved panic because there were manifestations expected for Escalade thereby freezing the public transport system resulting in heavy delays and ruining our day. There would be la foule partout...bref Armageddeon was nigh. He was stressed because we had been invited to un petit goûter de Noël the same day at 15h and he was mightily and highly worried that we would be stuck in a delibitating public transport system rendering us late for the meeting time fixé à 15h (see point 3. re lateness and Shrek's abhorance). We made it to the RDV chez coiffure sans problèmes or delays. There was no such pandemonium and the eyelash extension was done in record time so we made it back in plenty of time. We were even early so we had to hang out for half an hour or else we risk arriving too early for the afternoon tea which would be unbecoming because being on time involves being neither too early or too late, but on time : harder than it sounds. Shrek's eager anticipation and preparation or readiness for the worst case scenario is sometime uncalled for. He tends to lecture me re : why I had to make an appointment on a weekend in December, the busiest part of the year etc etc .... why I failed to see such apparent declic and so on and so forth. I am not very prévoyant and tend to be spontaneous : un vilain défaut but if I plan my life to the minutiae where is the joy in that ? Life can give us bad and good surprises, it can exceed our expectations or leave us dissappointed and desasperated but life most of all should not be une fleuve de predictability.

Anyway I have a lot to learn and with the years of experience adding up should be able to evite and avoid incensing** Shrek.

* tiff

   [tif] Show IPA

noun

1.

a slight or petty quarrel.

2.

a slight fit of annoyance, bad mood, or the like.

** in·cense

²    [in-sens] Show IPA

verb (used with object), -censed, -cens·ing.

to inflame with wrath; make angry; enrage.

Radine

Once une radine, toujours une radine...

Recently we were invited to un goûter de Noël : an informal gathering whereby we eat finger food/hors d'oeuvres and chat awhile. As Noël was approaching the host requested that we have a little present/gift exchange for the kids. I was told by Shrek who was informed by the host to bring symbolic gifts under 5 Swiss Francs. As I am wont to do I took the route of cheapskate, minimalist approach and so we came with cheapskate petits cadeaux. Shrek was flabbergasted by the kids reaction as they were expecting quelque chose de beau et genial...malheureusement their expectations were not fulfilled and so dissappointment ensued. I felt bad that I had not brought gifts above the suggested symbolic mark as others brought more consequential presents.

So I am the cheapskate or radine or stingy one.

Fair enough...I was reprimanded and chastised by a furious Shrek whom if I had not known any better made it out to sound like I had committed a serious or heinous crime against humanity and that I would have to repent my sin now. Also I was reminded that as a consequence of my actions I should live on a deserted island no less because my social skills are lacking and this will in turn affect my children's ability to make and maintain friendship. Seriously I need to just take a step back and remind Shrek that if he was right then by now I would have no friends, on the contrary I have very generous, loyal and good friends whom I still see eventhough we are separated by two continents. Shrek on the other hand has very few friends that he still maintains regular contact with eventhough he is far more generous than I. Friendship does not begin or resume with one or several faux pas such as the one I committed herewithin. It is a complex relationship that needs constant work and it definitely has to be a 2-way street otherwise it becomes tiresome and wearisome. I understand that I have to improve this aspect of my personality : concretely to attempt to be more generous but I do not feel that the weight of what Shrek had charged me with is proportional to what I did. Finally big deal if kids were dissappointed, if it was our kids they will just brush it off in no time. Kids these days receive gifts and do not take the time to appreciate. The novelty of something brushes off soon after the act of opening presents. They play with it intensely for a few days and the week after it has already been relinquished to the has been.

I want my kids to appreciate all the simplicity and complexity and beauty life has to offer. It is not always about material things but we often forget this and try to give our children the very best we can offer and more often than not this is tied in with how much something costs.

Unruly rascals aka Les petits mioches = Extremely exhausted mum !

It is a rule of thumb or Murphy's Law which dictates that I will already have the propensity to be extremely fatigued when my kids decide to run amuck and be rambunctious little rascals or energised bunnies without the relais of the 'off' button.

They will run me ragged and since my patience level is already at an all low point will ram me into the ground. I of course patienceless will be grumpy and stressed out and the vicious cycle turns round and round until it stops when they finally are in bed and I get some rest to fight yet another day.

Luckily I have discovered a good distraction 'Jardin Robinson' named after Robinson Crusoe which is an adventureland wherein the kids from 6-12 years can feed goats, bunnies and chickens, they can plant veggies, do natural craft projects, play society games and sling ont the flying fox to name just a few of the activities. It is my relais...now how do I convince the animateurs that 2 and 3 year olds are not too young and how do I get them to accept Baby Taz and Miss Feisty so that I could have a breather ?

I am thankful that at the very least Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N adore going to Jardin Robinson and that they are fully exploiting all that this little haven for kids has to offer.

Digging a hole

Overheard on a chock-a-block, plein-à-croquer tram was the voice of a little boy

'J'ai vu des poux qui bouges sur ta tête' in reference to his sister's head.

As he wanted to ensure that the whole tram could hear this revelation, he repeated with zeal and I wanted to dig myself a hole and crawl into it to hide from embarrassment. I looked around and smiled meekly and weakly at my fellow passengers.

That boy with a big mouth was none other than Petit Suisse and he sure knows how to bring on total humiliation.

Good one boy !

I recounted this story to Shrek and he laughed uncontrollably...admittedly so did I.

Project 52 lament

My lamentable Project 52 sadly still has not even got off the ground yet. I am feeling a bit uninspired, lazy and unmotivated.

I do hope to start next week. I thought that the weight and burden of Project 52 was manageable. It is and isn't at the same time.

Anyway I should just shoot a few photos, upload and post...what can be so damn difficult about that? Now if I can find a camera that can shoot, upload and post photos that I tell it to all by itself...ha I can dream

Cost of things

Murphy's law dictates that whatever I buy 'en action' or at reduced price will be cheaper the day after. It encompasses myriad genres including but not limited to fresh produce, foodstuff, baby items and household articles...etc.


No matter when so I think I have scored a bargain only to find out the day or two after that it's sold at an even cheaper price. It irks me to no end.

The only exceptions are when fresh produce and food are sold at half price, it cannot get any lower.

Murphy's laws are full of anger and stress inducing self-evidence and yet much of it is paradoxical truism.

Fly on the wall

Call me obsessive compulsive but I cannot stand sharing my turf with flies. I do not mind if I am in the great outdoors and can generally put up with them save the obligatory swats...and curses under my breath but I will not and I repeat will not under any circumstances let them co-exist with me inside my territory i.e. appartment or room. Report me to PETA or whomever but I will remain adamant about my OCB re flies.

Duped

Shrek was right and I should have listened to Shrek's wise and sage words re sofa bed protector also known as canapé protège-housse. I bought a lousy and abominably sewn piece of crap that is overpriced and which will last a full week if that thinking that I could refresh the sofa by redressing it with a semi-pretty housse. I'll concede that Shrek scored this time.

Although I have to add that for some weird reason unfathomable and incomprehensible to me most men and Shrek in a big way detest and abhor exchanging or returning or asking for refunds whatever the case may be. It seems that doing so is going to get one humiliated and Shrek is simply too proud to stoop to such base depravity. It is imprinted into their genetic code that reclaiming is petty. It is usually I who have to put aside any shred of dignity I have and to march to the return counter and reclaim or complain. I do relish that to an extent. Call me silly or masochistic but I do revel in the opportunity to self-inflict and contend myself with small/petty albeit unglorious victories.