Parenting

Parenting est un sujet sensible qui fâche les gens... parenting involves choices and directions that can differ in a spectrum/runs the gamut of permissibility (laisser faire) and strictly disciplined (old school).



In short just as all of us are individuals parenting and our methods of educating/disciplining our kids can vary wildly.

I do not however espouse and advise people unless they solicit it which I think is out of respect for parents be they new or experienced. We all can make our own mistakes and learn from them but we do not have to bear the cross of being subject to scrutiny and constantly dodging unwelcomed advice.


My kids cannot stay still and sit at a dinner table for three hours straight but I am not discouraged or bothered by that.

My kids can be a rambunctious and uncontrollable bunch which usually leads to me being lectured by other busybodies that I am an unfit mum who cannot control her kids etc...
I doth protesteth because they themselves are not model parents with model kids either.

I strongly believe that kids need boundaries and discipline on the one hand but they also yearn and should be able to stay kids for as long as they can, in other words they need to not be thrust upon adulthood, independence and responsibilities as soon as they are born. I allow my kids to play and act like kids and do not feel compelled to force them to be obedient dogs who sit upon command. They are not robots but human beings who need time and space and possibility to develop normally.

There are parents who surely disagree with me, to that I say 'each to their own'. Those in the camp of absolute discipline abhor kids who become a bit wayward and loud but that to me is not so important. To me I want to raise balanced and equilibrated individuals who know the values of the most important principles but are able to be independent contributors to society and yet stay unique individuals.

Parenting is definitely a learning curve and my kids never cease to amaze me either by their naivety, maturity or their simplicity and just their beings.

Entre vomissements et cramps d'estomacs

We are all touched by the nasty stomach bug or viral infection that made the rounds starting with our trustee entry/portal aka Shrek. Shrek began with mild stomach cramps which escalated in severity, soon after I had Baby Ben projectile vomitting for two days straight punctuated with a sleepless night for me. She also had fever and I thought that when it looked like she had recovered somewhat that the worst was over, not so as Shrek soon enough exhibited intense stomach cramps : the kind that twists and turns and wherein revolution inside ones tummy churns and churns until the toxicity decides to chance upon another outlet in which case projectile vomitting begin. It happened exactly like that...I also experienced stomach cramps which for now are half under control grâce à Charbon.

Petit Suisse another soul hyper sensible to bugs of the stomach kind also agonises with cramps and projectile vomitting through the nose and mouth.
Both Petit Suisse and Shrek are languishing in pain and the land of stomach churning.
The bug did not stop there as it claimed another victim in the form of Baby Taz and he too puked uncontrollably mostly liquid gunk.

Christmas Joy indeed...

Curious as to What is in my handbag ??

I have examined and perused the contents of my ultra fashionable bum bag cum shoulder bag and it is unsurprisingly full of junk. The simple reason is that I have four kids and it is imperative for me to keep lots of 'in case objects'. It is rather difficult to wear chic handbags when you've got to be mindful of drool, drippings, vomit and caca pipi...

Inside my all in one bag I have my wallet, ID and the kids, myriad fidelity cards, lip gloss (cos this is very important to maintain one looking fresh), nasal decongestor and bottle of sea water spray, bus pass, library cards, cartes Gigognes (discount family card), carbolevure capsules, small bottle of ointment for malaises, keys, mobile phone, bus timetable, small tube of 50+ suncream, tissues, wet wipes, receipts, vouchers, coupons and bits and pieces and knick knacks...and lists etc...

I am obliged to bring such a fantabulously eclectic cocktail of objects because I might need one or several of the above listed things.

***See 'Murphy's law' entry for more reference

Relief

I finally have a break from the routine that was making my life miserable. I need some time to myself and that is exactly what I am getting.

I love Shrek and my kids but being able to have even just an hour to myself to do whatever the hell I please and not answer to anyone is what is needed.

In other words I am enjoying myself and it's a win-win situation for all concerned.

Shrek tends to be uptight and somewhat overprotective at times, maybe too conservative to some even. He needs to loosen up and live a lil.

It's good to be conservative and prudent and careful but being able to have fun and not worry about deadlines, frameworks and limitations imposed by work or daily chores is an ability that Shrek still has not mastered. When one is working one needs order and set rules but when one is on holidays one needs to relax and be spontaneous. He is not exactly the type to live and let live.

(Shrek you do not need to take to heart what has been said here and remember that it is always constructive criticism that is supposed to ensure you improve certain aspects of your character/personality or to give you another perspective that you might not have been aware of)

A holiday to me is epitomised by spontaneity and rest and relaxation which pronounces a difference from the normal daily routine or everyday struggle.

I do miss Shrek terribly.

My therapeutic session

I just wanted to vent and let it be known once and for all so that no ambiguity or misinterpretations can be attributed to my actions or words.

I am mighty miffed, upset and most of all énervée each and every time Shrek does kitchen and or cooking duties. It happens rather rarely because he works to bring home the bacon and I do not in the least expect him to do everything around the house. Granted I DO expect some help. Everytime he cooks be it simple or complicated dishes that require a lot of preparations he complains and throws a hissy about the messy state of the kitchen and how it is total chaos there. I do not want to go into too much details but let there be no mistake I do not have the luxury of time that can be spent meticulously making the kitchen spotless as soon as I am done with making a meal. He makes it out like I am 'always' leaving behind what can easily be done in a matter of minutes: cooking and preparing meals, cleaning up and drying crockery, pots and pans... I am pissed off that every single freaken time it is the same damn story. MERDE
Sorry but my frustration has gotten the better of me. Shrek needs to realise that his good deed is usually ruined and spoilt by his engueulade.


To add salt to injury he has the audacity to insinuate that I leave behind bordel in the office/bureau. I am usually the one clearing the desk and I do leave papers or things to do or urgent stuff without filing immediately but what irks me to no end is the fact he implies that I am the only one messing up the desk when it is he who leaves a trail of stuff and junk...etc in the bureau as well.


Another annoying habit of his that sends me into a spin is the fact he jumps to 'his own twisted conclusions all too soon'. Take the example from his morning, he had the intention of doing some handywork in the garage. I simply asked 'Is it going to get messy ?' in other words 'Est-ce que c'est salissant?' Simply put if his clothes will be dirty, nowhere in there did I make any mention of 'Alors il faut que tu faire pas ce genre de travail si ça sera salissant.' I did not tell him not to go ahead and do the handywork but he interpreted it as such. I do not get it.. It irks me and frankly I do not know where he gets such pathetic connotations from. He then lectured me which I detest because I feel it is uncalled for and totally unnecessary. He went on and on about how he needed to get the work done no matter how gritty it is so that he can return his brother's tools or device...I am clueless when it comes to handywork or DIY... Anyway I need to remind him but he simply won't have any of it that he jumps too hastily to conclusions that I never intended...or even conjured up. I hate when being accused of thinking something that I did not command or beseech.

Shrek needs to realise that what he does is not acceptable and that as much as he attempt to help out it does not warrant his mouthing off about the so called messy state of things or unfairly accusing me of n'importe quoi. Shrek needs to reassess his behaviour and judgment and prejudices and predilections, I am tired of being at the receiving end of such abominable comportement.

END OF RANT

Tactless

Shrek has a tendency to repeat and repeat and overrepeat things--- very reminiscent of leeches.


I put a bit of ointment on Ben's nose. She coincidentally cried (maybe she wanted to be held, she was hungry and irritable or destressing..or whatever the reason could have been was of no concern to Shrek) as he was convinced she only cried because the ointment was burning her. News to you, I have used the ointment once before and she did not react to it at all. I used it on my own accord and unbeknownst to you and without any persuasion/coercing from whomever so do not make any assumptions and jump to conclusions without concrete proof. Give others the benefit of doubt unless facts prove otherwise.

I will not use it because even a small risk is still a risk but Shrek has shown himself to be unable to keep his mouth in reign. He seems to be oblivious and another apology will not be accepted as he seems to continue on this path which is getting rather old.
He should really take his own advice and learn to be more diplomatic rather than tell other people to mind what comes out of their mouths. Tact is a lesson Shrek has not learnt.

Quotidien

Morning has broken
Grey sky is the norm
Begins impending Routine
Public transport, toil, sleep for certain.
Urgings, change of clothes and school for others

Rumpled demeanour of a bed-head
Ding ding ding dong rings the school bell
Quick shuffle and peck.
'See you at lunchtime'

Trot, trot, trot homebound
Food preparations
Chop, chop, boil, steam or stir-fry
Stew, sautée or sauce it up

Ding ding ding dong signals the imminent lunch break
Dispersed kids spatter about scrambling and searching awaiting parents
A hot lunch or cold meal awaits on the table.

Back to school
Back home again at the tick of four o'clock

Back and forth, back and forth
Round the clock Beckoning

Shower and bathtime intertwine
So refreshing

Between laundry, kitchen,dishes and general cleaning up
Duties dictate chores that bore never end.
Exasperation

Attempts to rehash some old concepts
Teaching new lessons
Lots of yelling, heaving and sighing
Television
Practice some more

Constant distractions
Tiny tot clambering at every opportunity
No chance of undisturbed tranquility or even peace

Finally the end of the day nears
Dinner, toothbrush, storytime, prayer
Off to bed

The daily struggle of a stay at home mum.


Always physically exhausted and mentally drained

Tomorrow it all starts again