Shrek struck again !

The lure of a dirt cheap breakfast of 1 Swiss Frank for a hearty feed consisting of one croissant, 1 roll, 1 portion of jam, 1 portion of butter, 1 serving of cheese and one pot of yoghurt topped off with an all you can drink: refillable cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate proved too irresistible to some even. Henceforth it was no surprise that this morning sans douche or preparation we rushed off at Shrek's insistence and urging to IKEA for our fill of the grubby brekkies .

There were all the usual suspects and us being some of them. I noticed all the regulars...and some new faces. I made a comment about the fact that these people like us were all gourmand and all profiting from the generosity of Ikea which was just masked as an appel of a cheap meal. Shrek had not begun to eat and obviously had not drank his morning coffee yet because following my annoying remarks (because I can be annoying like that) he chucked a spastic* and went off... espousing to anyone within surrounding earshot that 'Yes indeed people who come to Ikea on a Saturday morning for the cheap brekkie are all gluttons, stingy and etc and etc and they are cheap asses but that was not his concern.' His voice grew louder and irritation intensely heightening his pitch. It was clear to all that he was not a happy chappy** and that I had dared to raise his ire.

Shrek is punctuated with what I call idiosyncratic and dictatorial tendencies.
Shrek does not digest stress or give off steam at work and as a result I sometime suffer as a consequence of his outbursts which are totally uncalled for... He does have this tendency to let out steam after my 'annoying remarks or habits' and claiming that 'my behaviour' induces him to break out the 'ogre temper' and 'hell hath no fury like that of an ogre's wrath' !!!!!!!

He did apologise afterwards after I made it clear that I wasn't going to be a doormat and continue taking that shit anymore !


Built up frustrations and pent up anger needs to escape through some sort of therapeutic sessions or perhaps Shrek should start a blog of his own because the way I see it my blog was borne out of my frustrations as a stay at home mum and now it's an outlet and vent for me which is a healthy way of getting my stress level under control...




* Aussie slang for going ballistic
** slang for a cheerful and content fellow

Mise au point

I bought Shrek a cadeau : a Garmin GPS navigation system approximately three months ago. I bought it primarily for him but it was also en guise un cadeau for me : La Paix.

Let me clarify Shrek goes ballistic in the car when I (hopeless as a map reader and co-pilot that I am) get us lost without fail. I wanted to eradicate my pain and eliminate this unwanted recurrence by gifting him with the GPS and what I thought would be La Paix for me...Alas Shrek has some major idiosyncrasies that I do not and cannot even begin to fathom and he has refused to put the GPS into use. It is as we speak sitting prettily in its box and emballage original unable to function the way it was destined for. Shrek prefers me to learn how to read a map properly and would gladly gift me with the poisonous gift of 'A crashcourse in map reading and comprehension for dummies'.

He did indeed go spastic when I got us lost on our way to the water theme park.

I have made it clear that I do not condone inadmissive behaviour from him and thus have declared a sanction. Shrek needs to learn quickly that his bullying is not working !

There I said my piece and now I leave it up to the borné master to start some work on himself.

Borné personalisé is Shrek's first name.

Digging more holes

Overheard in the swirlpool of Vitam'parc

'Papa, laisser la dame passer, tu vois la grosse là bas ?'

The 'grosse dame' en question was just next to Shrek and felt slightly uneasy at this declaration frank but none too diplomatic. Lil Miss N still has a lot to learn before she can fathom a career in diplomacy. I sense that the non-diplomatic gene has been passed onto the next generation and is perpetuating much to a forlorn father's chagrin.
Ha !

Franglais at its best !

My kids have a knack for mangling the French and English and coming up with the most ridiculous Franglais in the process.

They have a tendency to put 're' in front of anything French to denote 'encore'
For instance : Après demain on va re-aller à l'ecole mummy ?
Tomorrow we will go to school again mummy ?

The new masterchef

I propelled Shrek to rediscovered a long forgotten secret to preparing marrons chauds. I cannot reveal the secret but needless to say I am the self-proclaimed and acclaimed Masterchef de marrons chauds !
Pictures to come...

The marrons dissappeared before I had a chance to photograph them.

Girl's night out

Tonight marked the first ever girl's night out for me on Swiss territory. I simply had sushis at a sushi train but it was an hour I savoured because I ate without any interruptions or demands from kids which sometime take away from enjoyment of the moment. It was also a momentous milestone as Shrek was left in charge of babysitting duties. It went well and wondrously so that I think I am going to continue this tradition and proclaim a monthly outing for me. Heaven knows I deserve it so that I can come back to a lifetime of servitude and pandering to others needs above my own.

I love Shrek !

Ben's progress

It might not seem like much but one and a half pots of yoghurt and one quarter of an avocado is what Bb Ben ate today and that in itself is an achievement.
She is taking supplements of calcium in the form of 'Calcimagon'.
She is still turned off completely by any sort of cheese and still does not drink more than a few drops of UHT cow's milk at a time.

She is otherwise perfectly healthy and alert little girl.

Gross

Pommes acidulés et riz créole are Shrek's top two public nemesis and henceforth shall be bani de notre maison.

Let me keep that firmly in mind in case I ever get the urge or temptation to buy these two barely edible subjects again.

Digging a hole

Overheard on a chock-a-block, plein-à-croquer tram was the voice of a little boy

'J'ai vu des poux qui bouges sur ta tête' in reference to his sister's head.

As he wanted to ensure that the whole tram could hear this revelation, he repeated with zeal and I wanted to dig myself a hole and crawl into it to hide from embarrassment. I looked around and smiled meekly and weakly at my fellow passengers.

That boy with a big mouth was none other than Petit Suisse and he sure knows how to bring on total humiliation.

Good one boy !

I recounted this story to Shrek and he laughed uncontrollably...admittedly so did I.

The disgraceful fallen idol

Ikea was synonymous with pedestal and once possessed a cult-like status in Shrek's heart but alas that has all changed. Ikea has fallen from grace and into the abyss as Shrek now no longer wants to even hear the name Ikea uttered. Ikea used to appeal to Shrek for the following reasons :

1) affordability or bon rapport prix/qualité
2) facilité à monter
3) user friendly

His taste in furniture and furnishings have matured and shifted into outdated antiques. As Ikea and antiques are incongruous hence it is fitting that Shrek has moved onto meubles anciens (which Ikea incidentally do not fabricate) that outlast those from Ikea by a few lifetimes.

He believes that he and Ikea are no longer on good terms. He has moved past and beyond cheap furniture. You get what you pay for.

Ikea's single saving grace is their family and child-friendly factor that can't be beat.