Robotics

When I first met Shrek many yonks ago, I was under the impression that he belonged to the Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG) breed. The bait was so convincing that I was sucked in like a sinkered fish.

Fast-forward to les scènes de menages nowadays and Shrek has transformed into a veritable ogre.

I have only myself to blame. The happy ending of fairytales have nothing to do with harsh realities.

Shrek appears to respond to 'Yes', 'No' and black or white. He responds to complex problems in this same robotic manner. He is a 'Mr I can fix anything and solutions, solutions'. Unfortunately I never bargained for such monotonic behaviour and would rather shoot myself in the foot than to endure this...

My annoying habit

In order to play it fair I will reveal that I am guilty of over-stuffing the washing machine and this annoys the hell outta Shrek. He believes that my doing so will render the machine less efficient and the clothes less clean as a consequence. Also he is outraged that I have not changed this BAD HABIT of mine.

to be continued...

Shrek's fave hobby

Shrek's fave hobby is to sleep. He loves lazing about whenever he could. I wish I could m'endormir si facilement.

Keeping it real

Let's face it who can afford to be chic and gorgeous at all times when she has no nanny, no butler, housekeeper or minder... to take care of boresome little everyday chores. Who can be covered in facepaint and polish at all times because she has access to manicurists, make-up artists and trainers at her beck and call or be draped in designer clothes all day long ? Although I have my own personal style which is inimitable and I do not mean to boast but I certainly can pretty up when I have 15 minutes to spare and quickly whip up a look. I keep it real most of the time but can be found reeked with a hint of maquillage and scented whenever I feel like it just so I can remind myself that I am capable of being hot when I can be bothered.

Divertissement

The crafts project that Petit Suisse and Petite Suissesse created.
I am very proud of them like any mum. When one has been transformed from a heels wearing, chic young career woman into a slightly less chic mummy with a pusher and two toddlers whom she has to drag around like ragdolls (I am kidding about the ragdoll part) she has to look on the bright side of everything and be grateful for small mercies or else she will quickly turn into a glass figurine who will threaten to break at the slightest hint of provocation and touche.

Insomnia legère

Caffeine and I do not see eye to eye. My cogent renunciation of any future caffeine consumption after 6pm is in place because sleep is not possible for me if I so much as drink a sip of this insidious and evil substance in any shape or form.

Another reason why I am alert and can get up and go in the morning without resorting to any intake of coffee. Shrek on the other hand is not a morning person and barely bearable after several shots of coffee.

Birthday parties

I am seriously reconsidering a change in career after my euphoric and resounding success as a kids birthday party organiser. It was Petit Suisse aka Donkey's fifth birthday yesterday and the party-goers all 20 of them all had a blast at the expense of trashing a hall and wreaking havoc. They had so much energy that if channelled correctly could incidentally compete with the world's loudest noise*. (see explanation below)

I survived with my ears still ringing... long after post-party exhilaration had worn off.

Kids in kindergarten have to preferably have their attention captured in the first five minutes otherwise they lose interest and become restless. They have the attention span of about 15 minutes maximum and it is of the utmost important to lure them with lots of sweets, lollies, potato chips, more lollies and chocolates and intermittenly interjected with well thought-out games. Improvisation is the key.


Just a little side note teachers can fail you in kindrgarten for failing to concentrate or obey or not being able to write their own name at the end of Kindy. Who could've thought they would be so serious about early learning and moulding here in Switzerland??? If kids within the almost 4 to 6 1/2 age bracket are not lulling sheeps who can be shepherded or subjugated then chances are they might be up for REPEATING, let me repeat that REPEATING kindy and preschool until they get it right!!!

I propose a new nickname for the Swiss : moutons de montagne, that suits them.

I was on my feet and on the go for three manic hours not to mention all the hours that went into preparations and decorating etc... before that. I was thoroughly spent but I enjoyed the challenge. To organise parties for adults is a walk in the park by comparison.

I totally could and would organise kids parties again. Although I would prefer if someone else cleaned up the mess... hint hint tsk tsk Shrekkie to the broomstick.



* The 1883 eruption in Krakatoa (a volcanic island in the Sunda Strait between Java and Sumatra in Indonesia) generated the loudest sound historically reported: the cataclysmic explosion was distinctly heard as far away as Perth in Australia (approximately or 3100 km), and the island of Rodrigues near Mauritius (approx. 4800 km).
On no other occasion have sounds been perceived at such great distances (over 1/13th of the earth's surface).

Kitchen

Shrek's philosophy in the kitchen involves throwing everything in the pot: proteins aka meat, fish etc, veggies, herbs and spices in one go, heat to boiling point then simmer and hope for the best. No need for taste-testing or superfluous and tedious attention to details. His philosophy is a winning adage to overcooked food and bland disasters.

A night in Paris

My hubby just said He'd like to have 'A night in Paris' (not the city). I seriously think that he's wantin to stir me up...
hmmmmmmmm

I deliberately named this blog 'celebrity blog NOT' because I did not want to fall into the trappings of dissing or discussing or mentioning any celebrities to feel superior about myself but thanks to my hubby I have committed the unthinkable and mentioned 'Paris' although I prefer to refer to Paris the city exclusively amen.

Why have children ?

It is Shrek's belief that children are our future EMS or nursing home visitors: if we do not have children we cannot expect visitors to our senile senior citizens abodes. That is the utmost reason for having kids.