Hard sell

Shrek has to be praised for having courageously fought off the insistent door to door salesman trying to weasel his way into selling us a security system we do not need thus helping a damsel (Princess Fi aka moi) in distress from committing a fatal, fatal mistake.

I was silly beyond belief and fell into the trap of leaving my contact details on a 'supposed competition' and led the security system salesman to my house. Luckily Shrek was there to save the day!!!

Nein zager aka nay sayer + hard sell = NO DEAL

Amen to that...

Sometime it does pay to be cautious and to be 'Sviss', after all it might save one from falling into the trappings of 'empty or misleading' promises and signing a dead end contract.

End of a love affair

Shrek's long standing and seemingly unwavering love affair with IKEA, the Swedish conglomerate/furniture crap franchise has come to a tethering end because Shrek has discovered after a recent trip that 'economising' or 'corporate cutbacks' have resulted in his beloved store wiping out most privileges that he had become accustomed to.

I am not lamenting the fact that we travel 80kms to and from and waste petrol just so we can eat cheaply, buy unneccesary crap and drink coffee for free or leave the children in the garderie for an hour.
In short, it is probably a good thing and I did not even have to persuade or dissuade Shrek as to the pros and cons this time. IKEA has lost some loyal customers.

Shrek needs to lighten up

Shrek has an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when it comes to the kitchen being clutter free and spotless. I think that if a kitchen is used for cooking then it will no doubt at some point have messes, spices, foodstuffs and crockery, cutlery or pots and pans lying around...I mean if it is not being used then surely it will be shining ones reflection in its hallowed surfaces. One use the kitchen to cook and prepare meals not to leave it looking like a barren and lifeless waste of space beckoning respectful worship worthy of deity or icons and espousing the mantra 'Cleanliness is godliness'. I eschew this particular mania. Shrek needs to be reminded all the damn time that if people who dine out all the time and who do not use their kitchens for its sole purpose then they will surely have a kitchen he approves of. Alas if he continues I tell him the painful truth that I will post an advert in 'Meetic' or some other silly 'sites des rencontres like facebook et al' looking for 'une femme, mosh, TOC (French acronym for OCD), qui coud et qui va s'engager à engueler au dessus d'un ogre et qui ressembles à la sœur de Shrek'. This stops him dead in his tracks.


Learn to live with some messes and disorder because the crumbs and litter and rubbish are not going to pick themselves up and throw themselves into bins. I have learned to live and cook with onions and deal with the layers and tears. Shrek it is time you work on yourself...Living with kids mean that there are going to be some disagreements and setbacks and sacrifices...

BTW Shrek has a penchant for and tendency to leave behind a trail of yoghurt pots and his personal effects...without picking up after himself. I can spell h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-i-c-a-l for you if you'd like Shrek.

Shrek has thrown out my roughly scribbled recipes which I painstakingly modified and had mastered...but had not filed away. I will have to search for the recipes and then make the modifications again...Travail des singes...which Shrek hates with a vengeance.


I think I have vented enough vehemence for the day. I feel justifiably much better now...until the next episode of Shrek's outburst.

Prolifique maman malgré elle !

I have been through pregnancy 3 times and am now more than two-thirds of the way through my fourth. It does not get any easier or better. I do however can safely claim that I am more experienced than first time mothers and have some notions of what to expect for the birth.

I want to recount all my pregnancies and my three deliveries so far...as to make sure that in the future my children will know what their mum went through...so they themselves are equipped with some faint notion of how they came into the world.

I will go through each pregnancy and delivery in a manner most accurate as to how I remember them.


Petit Suisse : I had four and a half months of morning sickness, nausea, metallic taste and fatigue, all the hallmarks of symptoms of a pregnancy. It got better after five months although the fatigue stayed and this is something that is common with all of the pregnancies I had. I walked everywhere and one night after having traversed the Leman lake and it was 3 almost 4 weeks earlier than my expected due date my water broke at the wee hour of the morning probably around 2-3 am ish. It was impressive as I had lost all control and wetted/soaked the bed. in amniotic liquid. Shrek called the maternity and we promptly dashed for the hospital. The contractions came soon after we arrived and the intensity heightened and amplified. Beforehand I had heard some horror stories about the epidural and was reluctant at first to ask but the intensity of the contractions got the better of me and I decided to greenlight the epidural injection.
Delivery time came and I pushed for a fruitless hour. I had an inexperienced first-time midwife who had just assisted one or two births. She told me to push, push and push some more and Petit Suisse's hair kept making an appearance so he was yo-yoing without actually making his grand entrance. The Dr had to then interfere and she did so with the vaccuum (ventouse). I pushed during a big contraction and she pulled with the vacuum violently and brutally. She could have employed more finesse or been gentler but as a result I tore and had to be sewn up post-partum. I did not have an episiotomy which studies have shown not to be a better option than to tear naturally. So I was stitched up while the epidural was wearing off and I was now feeling the culmination of pain from the tearing and the labour. I did however endure the excruciating pain without screaming hence Shrek although present did not attest to the fact that it hurt.
One of my biggest gripes at that stage was he did not seem all that sympathetic for he saw it as pretty much routine and painless because I was not screaming and hurling like a headless chicken. He then took it upon himself to take up parole and become my spokesperson (my French was miserably not up to par at that point ) and explaining to people that

"It was fine, nothing out of the ordinary and quite alright by all standards."

What he did not know was that I suffered in silence for almost two months because the stitches hurt like hell everytime I urinated or walked... I kept up a brave face because my pain threshold was high and soldiered on without hinting at the physical laceration and agony I was enduring. Shrek had no inkling of what I was going through and quite frankly I felt indignation and disgust that he could nonchalantly tell people that it was fine blah blah blah when in fact he did not know what was really going on- it was misleading.

I even smiled in the photos taken...without wincing because it is my personal reflex to do so. Maybe I mask my pain by smiling so brightly in photos... Sometime I regret not letting my true feelings shine through.

I felt dissapointed, isolated and alone and had the baby blues accentuated by an incomprehensive midwife. She was not to know because I did not speak French and was not one to complain or demand service.

I cried many a silent tear to sleep. I felt that having one loyal suppporter was better than a dozen of half-assed supporters. I did not think that people cared about how I was doing or if I was in pain or suffered... all they cared about was the fact that I delivered a baby boy who was in good health. I did not feel like I counted as a woman or person, just merely a vessel and birthing instrument.

The fact is that I would have preferred my mum being there. In the old days the husbands or partners were not allowed in the delivery rooms... My mum had been accompanied by a good friend or her sister when she gave birth. I think on the whole it was a uniquely female bonding moment because only one who has been through it herself can sympathise with what the woman in labour is feeling. Men can empathise to a certain degree depending on their penchance for insight but cannot fully appreciate the extent to which pregnancy and birth changes a woman. Shrek's unintentional insensitivity floored me.

Nowadays I say to hell with suffering in silence, that is a misnomer. Being stoic only leads to wallowing in self-pity and resentment.

So I vow to let it be known when people ask me how I am doing the truth even if repeating that I am tired, exhausted and in pain bores even me. Make no mistake about it.

Lil Miss N: my period did not return after Petit Suisse's birth for a year. The first three months of pregnancy was uneventful as I did not exhibit any symptoms that I previously had with Petit Suisse. I did not know and had no suspicions that I had fallen pregnant. My stomach did not change much either which meant it was quite late when I discovered the pregnancy. I had to abruptly severe breastfeeding as advised by the gynocologist because my milk contained an excess of female hormone (estrogen) whilst I am pregnant. Petit Suisse was not impressed as he wailed and cried for two weeks.
Lil Miss N was comfortable in the warmth and safety/security of my womb so she did not want to be birthed. She was 6 days overdue.
I broke my water in the morning and we went to the maternity. I had not dilated that much by this time. Shrek returned home to park the car and he was coming back by bus. The midwife called Shrek to inform him that in fact things were moving faster than we had anticipated and he should hurry back if he did not want to miss Lil Miss N's grand entrance. I had the epidural injection again as per usual habit, this time with a lil bit less hesitance and trepidation.

I had an experienced midwife who guided me because eventhough it was my second time I had not learnt the first time how to properly and efficiently push. She was quite helpful and I felt more reassured as she assisted me and Miss N's head pushed through the threshold after only a few propulsions on my part. It was so fast and I was running the risk of tearing that the midwife told me to hold on and wait. With her head out and her body almost out I felt the urge to push...but had to hold back and this hurt...I screamed a little much to my surprise. I was relieved when I could finally release and she was born.

The post-partum was slightly better than that of Petit Suisse. I think if it was worse I would have been majorly depressed. As it was I returned home for three weeks of house-arrest save the weekend because Shrek had to serve the army for three weeks and as I had a newborn in winter with kneehigh level of snow. It was a particular year where snowfall was unusually abundant. I did not leave the house as I was not equipped or felt fit enough. I had just given birth and taking care of Petit Suisse who was understandably jealous at first and not in the least bit independent and a newborn took its toll(was enough to drive sane women mad)

It passed and things got better as I slowly adapted to the way of life in Geneva. I still have not been able to make as many friends as I would like but that is another problem for another rant.

Baby M: Once again I did not suspect being pregnant. I fell pregnant after returning from an extended four month holiday: three month long stay in Sydney and a month long stay in Vietnam. The first few months were once again uneventful and went by without much notice. The last month leading up to the birth though left me with much pain in the pelvis as Baby M's head was in birth position and it put pressure on my pelvic floor/bassin.

His birth was initiated by the water breakage...as is dictated by precedence. I did not have contractions and stayed a night at the maternity being monitored. Since the water had broken I had to be induced by pills to provoke contractions and hence commence labour.
I once again requested the epidural.
I was assisted this time by the head-midwife who is experienced and pleasant and gentle. She is in fact a friend of Shrek's. She was astonished by the lack of blood when Baby M came. I did not loose any blood whatsoever but more than made up for this later up in the maternity recovery ward when my uterus was pressed and an abundance of clotted blood came rushing out. I felt light-headed and was attended to by the midwives to ensure that uterus contracts properly. I lost quite an impressive amount of blood clots.

I did not enjoy the maternity stays for the three because medically speaking I got the care I needed but missed out on some comforts...and could not get any rest because unfortunately for me I was always in a full capacity room with either snoring mums (they are worse than Shrek) or perturbed newborns.

That sums up my three children's births so far. In resume I would say that the fourth and final pregnancy resembles Baby M's the most with the pelvic floor pain even more intense and acute. Shrek has been meticulously helping out much more so than before. He is more aware and conscious of what I am undergoing.

I will post more about the fourth birth after post-partum.

I want my children to know that I am first and foremost a woman in my own right, capable with an intellectual insight.

I will always savour the lessons my mum taught me and how she stressed the importance of being an independent-financially and intellectually woman. Being a working mum to be valued and counted.

I also want them to know that despite the current trend of mums who give birth and immediately return to work without skipping a beat, I fight against the current and am a full time stay at home mum to endow them with the gift of time, care, attention and love. I would like to educate them and even when I lose my patience and temper would like them to know I always have their best interest at heart and that I do want them to make their own mistakes, follow their own dreams and paths. Whatever they choose to do in life, I am here with Shrek to guide them but not to dictate, to support them without being judgemental (or trying not to be) and to love them unconditionally as best we could. I cannot be the perfect mum because perfection does not exist but I try my best to be the best mum and person I can be so that my children will be proud of me as I hope I will be proud of them despite our differences and likely discord/arguments over certain subjects in time to come.

This is my favourite biblical passage Corinthians 13:4-7 which sums up elegantly how I feel. Oddly enough this is also the passage I chose to read at my wedding.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

It ends on an optimistic note because I believe that dwelling on the positive will make a difference.

Nein-zager (sic)

Nein-zager is German for nay-sayer. Shrek being the epitomic Swiss that he is reserves a knee-jerk action of saying no to everything and anything before first testing the viability of projects, usefulness of products, etc...

He is always reticent about trying new things so when I first proposed/recommended that he use the Oral-B Sonic Vitality electric toothbrush his knee-jerk reaction was to say 'Nah, not interested.' I insisted and bought the said device anyway. Once he tried and found that it was not so bad after all, he has become addicted to brushing.

It goes to show that first impressions can be misleading especially in Shrek's case. Right Shrekkie ?

A picture of Shrek's newest darling

Here is the digital representation of Shrek's newest and most prized acquisition, the darling gem

taratata "PFAFF 654 iron roller".

She is a life and time saver that renders Shrek's existence more comfortable and slightly less stressful/worrisome. Phew

He whips her out once a week and sets her rolling pin in motion for about an hour ironing everything he can get his hands on. It is his new passion after auctioning for expensive luxury watches and jewels for a fraction of the price. Shrek's got a lot of dada these days.

IRON MAN saga continues

He is not content being pigeon-holed as an IRON MAN. I think it's a rather chivalrous gesture for him to iron his own chemises for work. I do not mind the other household chores so much but I abhor ironing. It must be said I did not ask to be pigeon-holed as a full time housewife whose only dominion consists of home duties and taking care of children but I have found myself here so it's only fitting Shrek should sacrifice and share a bit of the burden. I think Shrek would be carrying the torch for champions of ironing the world over. He does it so well and has recently acquired a rather auspicious equipment called PFAFF iron roller that would facilitate and hasten his ironing thereby rendering it mere childplay.

Behold mere mortals Shrek is the newly crowned king of IRON MEN !!!

I cannot wait when the time comes to don my suits and rejoin the workforce, employ my faculties, engage in adult conversations and start feeling slightly more important than a simple-minded housekeeper/round the clock nanny. I am engaging in wistful thinking again. --SIGH--

Human beings are such fickle creatures. One is never satisfied with ones present. One always always yearns for the greener grass on the other side. Insatiable

Shrek's magnifique creation

I have to document one of Shrek's many endeavours in the kitchen. This happened a while ago but I do not recall having posted the 'picture is worth a thousand words'. His efforts were not in vain for I think the meal was forgettable. There is always Better luck next time Shrek. I remember having previously mentioning casually Shrek's tendencies to overdo/overkill the theory of throwing together all the ingredients and hoping for the best. Somehow Shrek needs a refreshment course in the culinary art of preparing simple yet delicious meals.

I forgot to add that esthetically speaking it is rather colourful and appealing. Taste wise I can vouch for its originality and authenticity but tastiness, my memory betrays me...

Although I must admit that I do thoroughly enjoy his 'stir-frieds' and his 'mi xao don' which as luck would have it sometime can have too thick or too little sauce depending on chef Shrek's mood... Need I say more.

Shrek's annoying habit

One of the most annoying things Shrek dreads is when somebody dare to put back non-functional (which should have been discarded) office equipment such as ballpoint pens, liquid paper aka Tipp-Ex and so on and so forth into the desk. He then will (because Murphy's Laws dictates) find the futile office supplies when he is in the need of some liquid paper without the requisite brush for instance. What good is a liquid paper bottle when there is no brush? None whatsoever so whoever dared to put it back hoping to recuperate that darn thing will be lectured for at least 20 minutes or so about the futileness of such an act. Their senses will be questioned...They will be forced to squirm as The All-powerful and knowing Shrek points out their deficiency and unreasonableness and question their sense of judgment..

Who knew that by not spending 2 minutes to throw out the said offensive piece of rubbish one will have to endure 20 minutes of hard core lecture from a no-mercy punisher from hell?

One have got to learn one's lessons well.

Do not incite the wrath of Shrek.

Shrek's new title

Shrek has a new title to add to his impressive list : that of IRON MAN.

hehehe

Robotics

When I first met Shrek many yonks ago, I was under the impression that he belonged to the Sensitive New Age Guy (SNAG) breed. The bait was so convincing that I was sucked in like a sinkered fish.

Fast-forward to les scènes de menages nowadays and Shrek has transformed into a veritable ogre.

I have only myself to blame. The happy ending of fairytales have nothing to do with harsh realities.

Shrek appears to respond to 'Yes', 'No' and black or white. He responds to complex problems in this same robotic manner. He is a 'Mr I can fix anything and solutions, solutions'. Unfortunately I never bargained for such monotonic behaviour and would rather shoot myself in the foot than to endure this...

Why have children ?

It is Shrek's belief that children are our future EMS or nursing home visitors: if we do not have children we cannot expect visitors to our senile senior citizens abodes. That is the utmost reason for having kids.

Shopping par deux mecs

When I asked Shrek to go shopping with Donkey with a precise shopping list he ended up coming back with a lot of junk and only a few items that I actually asked for.

The reason for the junk food and useless plastic toy was according to Shrek due to 'a 35 year old grown man being directed or commanded by a 4 1/2 year old toddler.'
In short one can say 'Un homme de 35 ans(papa poule) a eté dirigé par un enfant gâté ou enfant roi de 4 ans et demi.'

I think Shrek did that deliberately to punish me for having had the nerve to send him shopping. I should have known better !!!


I have noticed a general pattern of me caricaturing (that might not be a proper verb here but you get the gist) my family, Shrek in particular of late. That is partly due to the fact it eases some tension and I have not had much else on my plate of late so whining about hubby and kids is what I do best at the moment until my creativity awakens from its deep slumber... Hell will freeze over and winter be gone.

Wii oui

Petit Suisse aka Donkey got himself three brand new Wii games : Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Games and Bandicoot Crash of the Titans.

I cannot tell who really is getting the most out of Donekey's Christmas gifts Shrek or Donkey. Shrek seems to enjoy himself immensely. It just goes to prove what I believed all along that men are just big babies who refuse to grow up.

I do think the sports games on the Wii Olympic Games and Wii Sports are the most interesting. They require one to exert a bit of effort and not just vegetate in front of the screen with a control.

Frustrations of a stay at home mum

I have been blessed with the arrival of a newborn. The miracle of life never ceases to amaze. He is a beautiful creature that I never tire of admiring.

Yet I am confronting a dark and sombre period. Winter is here and that in itself brings about a sombre mood.

I seethe with rage everytime a stranger ask 'So what do you do for a living?' quizzically. I struggle with my response. The simple response being that I am a stay at home mum and that has all sorts of negative connotations embedded in it.

I am educated yet I am a particularly young mum with two toddlers and a newborn in tow. This is unusual if not to say a march against the tide and trend of today. It is unheard of that women who have fought so long to gain equality in the workforce with men can now relinquish what they have battled for and regress into the age of women who are nothing more than domesticated cattle who as a matter of course stay at home occupying housework and the raising of children.

I love the luxury of being able to watch my children grow everyday and realise that not many women are as lucky as I. Another part of me long to be able to do something more productive and valued in the ordinary sense, that is use my faculties to affect change and earn my keep at the same time.

I tread on this thin line of being exhilarated and down in the deeps of a self-evaluated worthlessness.

What I dread most is being Mrs ... without any rights to be my own person or woman entitled to being evaluated as a valued employee or credited with a job well done or having a capable intellect. What _I want is to be considered more than a simple minded housewife and uninteresting stay at home mum.
I do miss having a circle of supportive network here in Geneva. I have yet to establish links with the natives that go beyond mere acquaintances or convenient friends. I have found however a few friends whom I can sympathise/empathise and discuss my frustrations with. However I do not have a pillar of strength which is paramount to staying positive during this emotionally charged and tumultous (hormonally speaking) time. My husband throughout the three pregnancies have not been a tower of strength. I felt that he either spoke for me as if I needed a spokesperson before, during and post-partum. I can say that I've had the episiotomy stitches, childbirth pain and post-partum uterus contractions à travers the three pregnancies. I think it is not intentional on his part but he is ultimately a man and cannot empathise with what is uniquely a feminine experience that is different for every woman and different still with each new pregnancy. The husband made jokes which at the moment of excruciating pain did not seem all that funny to me. Maybe my sense of humour failed to see the light in the tunnel of pain but needless to say that his way of trying to lighten the mood did not go down well with me agonising.
What I really dislike is the post-partum question: So how are you ? Was it very painful? to which my husband answers with a decisive 'Oh it went fine, a birth punctuated with nothing out of the ordinary'. I would like to be able to tell it from my perspective so people do not mistake that the birth was all dandy indeed without any hitches. The end result though overrides all that pain and perhaps I do forget that it was hell when I was experiencing childbirth pain that stretched my pelvic floor however elastic it might be.

The lack of mental stimulation I experience while interacting with the kids is refreshing for its intense freshness and disarming innocence and yet tests my own limits of patience at the same time.

I resent the routine that staying at home entails mountains of laundry, cleaning after the kids endlessly, cooking and more cleaning...

I've been greeted with the baby blues...
I think I need to uplift my mood and am afraid that no amount of chocolate or other comfort food eating will do.

What is a desperate mum to do ?
This post has rather been highly therapeutic and that somehow eases my tristesse and gives me hope that I will overcome this with perhaps the help of a more tactful hubby who after having read this post will hopefully be more supportive and more understanding.

Shrek has saved pancakes

In the long running saga that is Shrek's attempt to make pancakes, Fiona has to concede that Shrek has made good his pancakes. They are still not the traditional or conventional pancakes that one would be used to but they are not half bad.

Shrek uses levure de boulangerie sec. (dry yeast)

Shrek has celebrated this by ritually making Sundays 'Pancake day'

Ode to IKEA (for my husband)

I adore thou o fearless one
Knowing full well thou art
Every handyman's fantasy
All consuming passion


IKEA is on the verge of total world domination with an all conquering concept.

IKEA is to furniture cum DIY cum useless decorations cum occasionally relevant or useful amenagements what McDonalds is to fast-food (or in some instances Food)

Beware an IKEA franchise is

Coming to a location near you.