Action plus reaction

My faute majeure = lack of anticipation

Shrek's faute majeure = his reaction when confronted with my lack of anticipation

The combination of the above equation is explosive to say the least.

I had FAILED to inform Shrek 15 minutes before the ludothèque's (toy library) closing time. I had failed to get in contact with him in due time to allow him time to get to our agreed pick-up point. I had failed to prevoir and foresee that I needed change on me in case. I had also FAILED in telephoning Shrek at the most inappropriate time i.e. when he was backing out of our garage and his mobile was in his trousers pocket. In short I failed and fell short today. So the only thing left for me to do was to apologise which I did profusely but this is crucial as Shrek continued to berate, grate and faire la gueule as he only he can. I put up with all of that for about 15 minutes before I turned the table on Shrek and we had a screaming contest to see who would come out on top.

Lesson for me : anticipate, anticipate and anticipate some more, it has been drilled and droned into my brain !

Lesson for Shrek is of no less importance : DO not unnerve people by grating and nagging until they break.

Hopefully this painful episode served as a good lesson of what to avoid for Shrek and I.

Shrek realised he went overboard and apologised immediately.I accepted his apology and hope that we can avoid and bypass similar cases being repeated.

Mea culpa, mea culpa...

Breakage, clumsiness and general gaff !

Lil Miss N should have her name changed to Miss Clumsy. She inadvertently bumps into corners, tables, chairs, invisible obstacles and objects. She also has a tendency to drop and spill food, drinks and goods in general. She is after all a kid whose fine tuning is still in the process of perfecting.

I am manic about dropping things and breaking them especially when it comes to costly valuables. I accidentally dropped a watch with ceramic links and will have to replace that link and the damage has yet to be determined. I chastised myself and am prone to self-flagellation over minor breakages etc...which does not bode well for my mental health according to Shrek. I suspect he might be right because I am une gaffeuse, guess that is where Miss Clumsy got her clumsy genes from and if every time something had to be replace I get worked up then it would spell disaster for my sanity and in the long run cost me my well-being and equilibrium which no material object or amount of money is worth fretting over.

Swiss admin (in)efficiency

I have yet to encounter such a pathetic system of administration.

I called up the library today to renew some books and to reserve places for next Wednesday's children's spectacle.

The conversation went something along the lines of ...


Me : Hi, I would like to reserve places for next Wednesday's spectacle please.

Librarian : Sorry but I cannot help you, the library's lending services will be open from 3pm onwards.

(me wondering what the heck this so called librarian was doing when she could have easily fished out the reservations page and simply note and why the hell she answered the phone in the first place if she was not supposed to 'help' or 'offer any service' )

I soldiered on

Me : In that case can I at least renew books under my borrower's card please ?

Librarian : No you cannot do that either. You will have to call back at 3 pm or from 3-6pm, that is when we 'officially' open.

Me : So you cannot help me out with 'jack'* can you ?

Librarian : 'apologetically' I am afraid not.

I was again wondering what good a librarian was when she could not simply look up the reservations page and note my name or type my name and click a code for renewal of the books. She was there to answer the phone and to inform people that the library's lending services (and all related services) are only available during limited opening hours and even if you call and hear a voice on the other side outside of these opening hours you will get shit all.

Please refer to my previous post regarding pathetic opening hours.
I guess I can draw a conclusion Swiss are not library-goers or users hence there is no need for 'decent office/admin opening hours'.

One more reason as to why the Swiss admin system cannot advance or make improvements and they are representative of most systems here... I rest my case.

*Jack is slang for nothing at all.

Canicule

It felt like a heat wave today. The crowds and populace all had the same idea and found themselves at where else but the swimming pool. The swimming pool was swamped with thousands of people from God knows where. I did not realise up until this point that Geneva was overcrowded and resembled chaos. For some Swiss it is better to stay away on days like this.

The kids enjoyed themselves at the peril and expense of adults who are parental figures.

I was poolside and thus did not even so much as get my feet wet as I had 2 babies to take care of in the shade.

The swimming pool is for the brave. So much concentration. There were long lines everywhere, to buy tickets, to get in and to get refreshments, snacks or to the WC. Luckily I had a double pusher and was spared the wait. Whoohoo. One small consolation at least.

A few of Shrek's fave things

'ça marche ou ça marche pas'


Shrek may look scary and tough but he's really prone to being stricken with sickness, allergies and tummy aches. I have to be extra careful or else he will contract cramps, food poisoning and itches at the blink of an eye. He is too sensitive and sensible à fleur de peau.


Shrek's most favourite phrase is 'It works or it does not work'. If it works --it can connote anything from tools to devices to objects to machines to services etc then it will be retained but if it does not then Shrek will decree it worthless and useless and thus worthy of being binned/trashed.

I do not oversimplify things the way Shrek does. It is Shrek's way of compartementalise and categorise things which can be applied to some but not all things.

Shrek is cute that way. If both of us viewed the world in shades of grey then it would create discord also. It is variety that spices and liven up life as we know it.

Shrek has made a concerted effort with household chores in general and I have made a note of all that he does.

Shrek scores on both efficiency and effort.

Shrek is a Zebra

Shrek's laundry filters have only two colours : black or white. I am worried that he might be colourblind. I have to sort out the clothes: wool, silk or anything that requires a soft wash from the ordinary mostly cotton and polyester and then Shrek will mindless load the washing machine with either black(colours included) or white only vêtements. He has ruined quite a few woollen items of clothing. He should eschew the whole ordeal but he has been rather conscientious lately with his share of household chores/tasks hence he employs his resources in loading but more importantly emptying the washer and hanging of clothes.

One can be a pharmacist but one cannot distinguish between 'fragile' and 'normal' garments. It is the lack of attention to details/a deficit disorder which I might add can generally extend to the whole of the male species.

Entrapment

Lately I have been feeling especially desperate as I often time and again find myself under self-imposed house arrest much to my dismay.

I have several reasons for being under such a strict regime of house-arrest.
Baby Moy just caught the nasty chicken pox hence I have to limit my outtings to a minimum. It was snowing and the ground was slippery and wet making it risky business for a mum of 3 and 3/4 kids to manœuvre 2 hyperactive toddlers and a pusher. Lastly Sundays are literally Sabbaticals for Geneva-siders (except Shrek who today is working until very late) rendering it pointless to go out when there is nothing open and not a soul to be found roaming the streets...in short not one exciting event to get hyped up about.

Around the time of Little Miss N's birth it was snowing much more heavily. The snow stayed and it was almost knee high and I found myself stuck inside the four walls for weeks on end as Shrek was serving his yearly compulsory term in the Swiss army to carry out his duties as a good citizen. I was frustrated,isolated and felt enclosed and close to breaking point. Who wouldn't when having to deal with a jealous first-born and a crying newborn without any help ?

This time the entrapment is only temporary as I hope to take the kids outdoors and into the wind-swept, frost-bitten cold as soon as is practicable.

Shopping par deux mecs

When I asked Shrek to go shopping with Donkey with a precise shopping list he ended up coming back with a lot of junk and only a few items that I actually asked for.

The reason for the junk food and useless plastic toy was according to Shrek due to 'a 35 year old grown man being directed or commanded by a 4 1/2 year old toddler.'
In short one can say 'Un homme de 35 ans(papa poule) a eté dirigé par un enfant gâté ou enfant roi de 4 ans et demi.'

I think Shrek did that deliberately to punish me for having had the nerve to send him shopping. I should have known better !!!


I have noticed a general pattern of me caricaturing (that might not be a proper verb here but you get the gist) my family, Shrek in particular of late. That is partly due to the fact it eases some tension and I have not had much else on my plate of late so whining about hubby and kids is what I do best at the moment until my creativity awakens from its deep slumber... Hell will freeze over and winter be gone.

Frustrations of a stay at home mum

I have been blessed with the arrival of a newborn. The miracle of life never ceases to amaze. He is a beautiful creature that I never tire of admiring.

Yet I am confronting a dark and sombre period. Winter is here and that in itself brings about a sombre mood.

I seethe with rage everytime a stranger ask 'So what do you do for a living?' quizzically. I struggle with my response. The simple response being that I am a stay at home mum and that has all sorts of negative connotations embedded in it.

I am educated yet I am a particularly young mum with two toddlers and a newborn in tow. This is unusual if not to say a march against the tide and trend of today. It is unheard of that women who have fought so long to gain equality in the workforce with men can now relinquish what they have battled for and regress into the age of women who are nothing more than domesticated cattle who as a matter of course stay at home occupying housework and the raising of children.

I love the luxury of being able to watch my children grow everyday and realise that not many women are as lucky as I. Another part of me long to be able to do something more productive and valued in the ordinary sense, that is use my faculties to affect change and earn my keep at the same time.

I tread on this thin line of being exhilarated and down in the deeps of a self-evaluated worthlessness.

What I dread most is being Mrs ... without any rights to be my own person or woman entitled to being evaluated as a valued employee or credited with a job well done or having a capable intellect. What _I want is to be considered more than a simple minded housewife and uninteresting stay at home mum.
I do miss having a circle of supportive network here in Geneva. I have yet to establish links with the natives that go beyond mere acquaintances or convenient friends. I have found however a few friends whom I can sympathise/empathise and discuss my frustrations with. However I do not have a pillar of strength which is paramount to staying positive during this emotionally charged and tumultous (hormonally speaking) time. My husband throughout the three pregnancies have not been a tower of strength. I felt that he either spoke for me as if I needed a spokesperson before, during and post-partum. I can say that I've had the episiotomy stitches, childbirth pain and post-partum uterus contractions à travers the three pregnancies. I think it is not intentional on his part but he is ultimately a man and cannot empathise with what is uniquely a feminine experience that is different for every woman and different still with each new pregnancy. The husband made jokes which at the moment of excruciating pain did not seem all that funny to me. Maybe my sense of humour failed to see the light in the tunnel of pain but needless to say that his way of trying to lighten the mood did not go down well with me agonising.
What I really dislike is the post-partum question: So how are you ? Was it very painful? to which my husband answers with a decisive 'Oh it went fine, a birth punctuated with nothing out of the ordinary'. I would like to be able to tell it from my perspective so people do not mistake that the birth was all dandy indeed without any hitches. The end result though overrides all that pain and perhaps I do forget that it was hell when I was experiencing childbirth pain that stretched my pelvic floor however elastic it might be.

The lack of mental stimulation I experience while interacting with the kids is refreshing for its intense freshness and disarming innocence and yet tests my own limits of patience at the same time.

I resent the routine that staying at home entails mountains of laundry, cleaning after the kids endlessly, cooking and more cleaning...

I've been greeted with the baby blues...
I think I need to uplift my mood and am afraid that no amount of chocolate or other comfort food eating will do.

What is a desperate mum to do ?
This post has rather been highly therapeutic and that somehow eases my tristesse and gives me hope that I will overcome this with perhaps the help of a more tactful hubby who after having read this post will hopefully be more supportive and more understanding.

Hibernation

The cold weather has really brought about a hivernale feel aka winter is here!!! It is awfully hard to get out of bed in the morning and unless one has got to be somewhere like work or school, one would infinitely prefer to stay in bed.

Hibernation is what animals do when the chills arrive and we as humans are no different. We are animals even if we would like to think of ourselves as some sort of superior being because we have the faculties and capacity to think.

I am finding it difficult to compose, create or be motivated. I am affected by the weather darnit. I am a summer person or at the very least spring. Autumn and winter just makes me want to hibernate and wake up when spring is here once again.

Other than the long winded essay on hibernation I have not got a lot to post about.

Back to the nice warm bed with the doona 'tis.

This post was just a post for post's sake

Swiss customs endorse veganism

A close inspection of the amendment to the Swiss customs regulation regarding food originating from animals will leave you with a 'what the heck?!?' reaction. I think Swiss customs regulations now resembles that of a vegan's diet as they prohibit everything that stems from animals including all dairy products, eggs or honey or dried fish...
It must be said though that the prohibition applies only to meat and all animal products that originate from outside of the European Union.

Importers are still allowed to import these prohibited products from countries that are not members of the European Union. It's a hypocrisy because importers have to pay tax on these products and thus are allowed the luxury of charging inexorbitant prices for the sought after delicacies from across the world. On the other hand the average traveller coming back from Asia cannot bring a few kilograms of dried beef into Switzerland thanks to this new law.

The veganistic tendencies of the new legislation leaves me wondering if I am a fish out of water here in Switzerland?

Mr Freeze

On our recent road trip to Sète in the South of France to celebrate our fifth marriage anniversary I discovered the power of advertisements!
We were walking along the shores of Balaruc Les Bains and saw an ice-cream parlor. They claimed to have 'glaçes artisanales', which means home made. My husband joked that the only thing that was authentic about the ice cream was the fact the industrially made blocks had to be loaded into the display window by human hands.

Petit Suisse insisted on having a raspberry flavoured ice block. I did not know the real reason as to why he was so insistent on having an ice block when there was an array of attractive ice cream flavours on display.

At dinner time we sat in a restaurant having a gigantic seafood platter entourée by oysters, prawns, crayfishes and numerous other molluscs. Petit Suisse started to sing a jingle which all of a sudden sounded familiar.
It went something like 'Mr Freeze, Mr Freeze...' He sang it in a perfectly melodious tune which unfortunately cannot be reproduced on a two dimensional computer screen.
I glanced at the packaging of the now finished ice block and found 'Mr Freeze' written on it. I subsequently asked Petit Suisse how he came to know about Mr Freeze and he nonchalently answered "I saw it on Tele".

Hubby and I looked at each other and with a telling look, Television adverts do sway impressionable kids and that is the goal of marketing and advertising. Target scored! Need I say more.
The next day while we were in the supermarket he adamently demanded we buy the 'Monster' shaped biscuits fabricated by Lorenz which coindidentally he saw on Television.

I have to be careful not to let too many adverts sway my kids into the latest trend, food, snack, toy, gadget and what not.
Damn advertisements!!! I must admit they are effective for the most impressionable audience though and my kids are in no way immune to the floods of ads...

Picture purrrfect

I have a theory that there is a conspiracy against me that condemns me to have the majority of photographs taken by various people to look atrocious. I either have my mouth full or a sheepish grin. People without forewarning just happen to descend upon my having put a mouthful of alimentation and without allowing me a few seconds to swallow snap, flash and capture my mouthful on camera. The sheepish grin I cannot really explain away but it is also a frequent event.

My husband thinks it is my vanity that speaks when I complain about having less than flattering images captured but he has no room for speech as I can hardly remember him having a photo where he has his mouthful.