Fâchée

Shrek and I decided that we would defrost the freezer tonight. As planned we set out to defrost with aplomb and as we were nearing the end of the defrosting business, Shrek took the opportunity to remind me that I kept a lot of junk in the freezer which is correct hence I have no qualms agreeing with him then. He then went on to lecture me about the amount of junk I keep accumulating and how I had to be radical and toss everything into the rubbish tip.

I do agree I am a hoarder and that I should throw out unnecessary stuff but he really went too far by suggesting that we were suffocating under the amount and weight of stuff and that he could no longer handle it. He went on to tell me I had mauvaise foi and etc etc... He pretty much blew up and I teared up because I could not palpate the ideas he was throwing around anymore. I wanted to call it quits mainly because in my eyes he wanted space, order and structure : something which I could only maintain periodically because it was a constant battle to intil order into our place.

I still believe strongly that a house is not a museum and thus cannot be treated as such. I can only make progress by attempting to organise and tidy up momentarily because the state of perfect neatness and order cannot last indefinitely. I can of course make an effort to procrastinate less and hence clean up messes more efficiently but I can only try my best and Shrek must understand this.. Living together equals compromise and if he wants his way all the time, that is not about to happen. He can get his way some of the time but he must also give way sometime. Work is different as different rules apply to the workplace but when one is at home one must be able to feel at home and at ease and not constantly clearing this and cleaning that and so forth. Life is for living and not just experienced through a series of motionless stilllife.

I hope Shrek will eventually work on himself as I work on my own hoarding and neatness issues. Shrek has a tendency to compartmentalise everything. Everything must have its proper place and nothing must be out of place. He must have empty spaces and bien rangé without any surplus. He is very Swiss in his thinking. I am pretty much the opposite of all that.

We will find un juste milieu without breaking hopefully.

One step forward...