Fâchée

Shrek and I decided that we would defrost the freezer tonight. As planned we set out to defrost with aplomb and as we were nearing the end of the defrosting business, Shrek took the opportunity to remind me that I kept a lot of junk in the freezer which is correct hence I have no qualms agreeing with him then. He then went on to lecture me about the amount of junk I keep accumulating and how I had to be radical and toss everything into the rubbish tip.

I do agree I am a hoarder and that I should throw out unnecessary stuff but he really went too far by suggesting that we were suffocating under the amount and weight of stuff and that he could no longer handle it. He went on to tell me I had mauvaise foi and etc etc... He pretty much blew up and I teared up because I could not palpate the ideas he was throwing around anymore. I wanted to call it quits mainly because in my eyes he wanted space, order and structure : something which I could only maintain periodically because it was a constant battle to intil order into our place.

I still believe strongly that a house is not a museum and thus cannot be treated as such. I can only make progress by attempting to organise and tidy up momentarily because the state of perfect neatness and order cannot last indefinitely. I can of course make an effort to procrastinate less and hence clean up messes more efficiently but I can only try my best and Shrek must understand this.. Living together equals compromise and if he wants his way all the time, that is not about to happen. He can get his way some of the time but he must also give way sometime. Work is different as different rules apply to the workplace but when one is at home one must be able to feel at home and at ease and not constantly clearing this and cleaning that and so forth. Life is for living and not just experienced through a series of motionless stilllife.

I hope Shrek will eventually work on himself as I work on my own hoarding and neatness issues. Shrek has a tendency to compartmentalise everything. Everything must have its proper place and nothing must be out of place. He must have empty spaces and bien rangé without any surplus. He is very Swiss in his thinking. I am pretty much the opposite of all that.

We will find un juste milieu without breaking hopefully.

One step forward...

Happy Mother's day/Bonne Fête de maman !!!


It is my 9th Mother's day as it is intricably linked to Petit Suisse's age. I am proud of my children and hope that the legacy and heritage passed onto me by my mum will in turn be passed onto my children.

I use this blog as my open diary for my children, future grandchildren and future great-grandchildren to have an insight into me as first and foremost a woman (hopefully remarkable and incredible at that but that is not for me to say...it is for them to decrire), a mum and a wife.

I hope they will appreciate all the nurturing and love I have shown them over the years...and Shrek as well. I hope they realise that as human beings we are prone to mistakes, failure as well as success, happiness and triumph but the most hard won battles are saveured much more. I want them to stand on their own two feet and be grounded  but always reaching for the stars and that we are masters of our destiny but there are forces beyond our control and comprehension. Life is unpredictable, miraculous and beautiful with all of its complexities and imperfections.

I received as gifts for La Fête de Mères : 1 marigold from Lil Miss Naughty in a pot painted and creatively beautifully by her, 1 purple flower (not sure of the name) in a recycled aluminium can dressed as a pot doted with hearts by Petit Suisse, one cardboard flower decorated by Lil Miss Feisty, a poem written on a heart by Lil Miss Naughty. I also had the privilege of being invited by Lil Miss N and Petit Suisse to a special Mother's day brunch. They split the cost of the brunch (for me only as Shrek took care of the rest)  in half. They paid with their own pocket money which they have saved up.

A touching Fête de Mères

Here is the poem offert par Lil Miss N


J'ai écrit "Je t'aime dans la neige : le soleil l'a effacé"
J'ai écrit "Je t'aime dans le sable : la mer l'a emporté..."
Alors j'ai écrit dans mon coeur "Je t'aime Maman"
Là, il restera gravé.

Perseverance

Lil Miss N tends to be discouraged all too soon as exhibited in two incidents described henceforth : she was practising her violon when she slouched and played like a cricket croaking without any effort whatsoever, Petit Suisse made smart-alec* comments such as 'C'est nul, tu fais tout faux' and her reaction was to just give up and bawl her eyes out... all the while complaining that Je ne serai jamais capable de jouer au violon

the second involved her braiding woolen strings into a bracelet, she stumbled and made one or two consecutive mistake and decided that she had had enough and toss the unfinished bracelet into the garbage bin.

Shrek had one of those fortifying talks to Lil Miss N to iron out any self-doubts she might have been harbouring.

As a kid Shrek was not given opportunities to learn to play a musical instrument or have very many extra-curricular activities outside of school. Given that we do our best to give our kids exposure to and the opportunity to learn musical instruments the very least is to give it their best shot and persevere. Practice and effort makes perfect although we are not in any way aiming for perfection, I do aim to give them a well-rounded education with music, literature, scientific discoveries and philosophy. They can then decide what they want to do with all that knowledge and know-how but the most important lesson Shrek and I want to instil into our kids is 'perseverance'. Perseverance is a virtue unto itself but more than being virtuous it is a dogged approach to life that can 'keep them moving forward' borrowed from the 'Robinsons'

Random things they say

Baby Taz 's speciality is to repeat

'C'est pas juste !' whenever he feels indignated or left out.

Lil Miss N often says to me ' Tu es la parfaite mummy !' or

'Tu es mon grand amour pour toujours/toute la vie'

Baby Taz will continually say 'On a pas ça' which can be heard most often after the bombardment of toy advertisements during the busiest period of the year preceding Christmas/Noël as that is the best time to rouse and brainwash children into action and hence indirectly influencing parents' and general public's gift buying/purchasing decisions.

List of dos and don'ts

I have summarised for easy access the major issues from which emanate beaucoup de nos disputes.

1. stinginess : mine in particular, I have to stop thinking petit...this one is difficult but I can take re-assurance in one thing since I am une radine I fit into Swiss society like a bee in a hive because generosity is not the Swiss' forte.

2. Bouts de ficelles : see 1. (this is a recurrent theme)

3. Timeliness : Shrek is very strict when it comes to being on time, it is a principle he has ingrained within. I agree with him when it comes to work and professional obligations but as for personal RDVs etc... I beg to differ : there needs to be some flexibility. I attempt to be on time for cours, école etc but personal RDV between friends and family gatherings are not as inflexible.

4. Hoarding : mine again and Shrek's desire to throw out unneccesary stuff. Enough said, I am a hoarder and Shrek is not, he is the quintessential minimalist here and he would like order, cleanliness and an unencumbered apartment. Unfortunately I cannot and will not be able to meet/attain his high standard. We obviously will have tiffs* over this issue.

5. Preparing for the worst : Shrek's tendency to overthinking and readiness to tackle the worst case scenario usually blows up and he takes all things out of proportion because he gets lost in the anticipation before the actual realisation of an event. Take for instance the most recent example : I had an appointment at the hairdresser's for an eyelash extension at 12h30 on December 10th. Shrek being prévoyant had dreamed up the scenario that involved panic because there were manifestations expected for Escalade thereby freezing the public transport system resulting in heavy delays and ruining our day. There would be la foule partout...bref Armageddeon was nigh. He was stressed because we had been invited to un petit goûter de Noël the same day at 15h and he was mightily and highly worried that we would be stuck in a delibitating public transport system rendering us late for the meeting time fixé à 15h (see point 3. re lateness and Shrek's abhorance). We made it to the RDV chez coiffure sans problèmes or delays. There was no such pandemonium and the eyelash extension was done in record time so we made it back in plenty of time. We were even early so we had to hang out for half an hour or else we risk arriving too early for the afternoon tea which would be unbecoming because being on time involves being neither too early or too late, but on time : harder than it sounds. Shrek's eager anticipation and preparation or readiness for the worst case scenario is sometime uncalled for. He tends to lecture me re : why I had to make an appointment on a weekend in December, the busiest part of the year etc etc .... why I failed to see such apparent declic and so on and so forth. I am not very prévoyant and tend to be spontaneous : un vilain défaut but if I plan my life to the minutiae where is the joy in that ? Life can give us bad and good surprises, it can exceed our expectations or leave us dissappointed and desasperated but life most of all should not be une fleuve de predictability.

Anyway I have a lot to learn and with the years of experience adding up should be able to evite and avoid incensing** Shrek.

* tiff

   [tif] Show IPA

noun

1.

a slight or petty quarrel.

2.

a slight fit of annoyance, bad mood, or the like.

** in·cense

²    [in-sens] Show IPA

verb (used with object), -censed, -cens·ing.

to inflame with wrath; make angry; enrage.

Radine

Once une radine, toujours une radine...

Recently we were invited to un goûter de Noël : an informal gathering whereby we eat finger food/hors d'oeuvres and chat awhile. As Noël was approaching the host requested that we have a little present/gift exchange for the kids. I was told by Shrek who was informed by the host to bring symbolic gifts under 5 Swiss Francs. As I am wont to do I took the route of cheapskate, minimalist approach and so we came with cheapskate petits cadeaux. Shrek was flabbergasted by the kids reaction as they were expecting quelque chose de beau et genial...malheureusement their expectations were not fulfilled and so dissappointment ensued. I felt bad that I had not brought gifts above the suggested symbolic mark as others brought more consequential presents.

So I am the cheapskate or radine or stingy one.

Fair enough...I was reprimanded and chastised by a furious Shrek whom if I had not known any better made it out to sound like I had committed a serious or heinous crime against humanity and that I would have to repent my sin now. Also I was reminded that as a consequence of my actions I should live on a deserted island no less because my social skills are lacking and this will in turn affect my children's ability to make and maintain friendship. Seriously I need to just take a step back and remind Shrek that if he was right then by now I would have no friends, on the contrary I have very generous, loyal and good friends whom I still see eventhough we are separated by two continents. Shrek on the other hand has very few friends that he still maintains regular contact with eventhough he is far more generous than I. Friendship does not begin or resume with one or several faux pas such as the one I committed herewithin. It is a complex relationship that needs constant work and it definitely has to be a 2-way street otherwise it becomes tiresome and wearisome. I understand that I have to improve this aspect of my personality : concretely to attempt to be more generous but I do not feel that the weight of what Shrek had charged me with is proportional to what I did. Finally big deal if kids were dissappointed, if it was our kids they will just brush it off in no time. Kids these days receive gifts and do not take the time to appreciate. The novelty of something brushes off soon after the act of opening presents. They play with it intensely for a few days and the week after it has already been relinquished to the has been.

I want my kids to appreciate all the simplicity and complexity and beauty life has to offer. It is not always about material things but we often forget this and try to give our children the very best we can offer and more often than not this is tied in with how much something costs.

Happy 4th birthday Baby Taz

Petit note : Baby Taz's birthday falls on the 6th of December and as disorganised a mum as I am failed to post in time to coincide with his real date.

6th of December 2011 : Baby Taz turned 4 !

Today marks the anniversary of Baby Taz's entry into the world via voie basse four years ago !

We had a small albeit just between the six of us celebration. As requested by Baby Taz (true to his namesake/astrological sign the Golden Pig) the little party involved copious amounts of all les interdites aka junk food : chips, boissons gazeuses galore, nuggets, bâtonnets de poissons panés, frites, bonbons, Rimuss (champagne sans alcool) and un gâteau d'anniversaire décoré haphazardly with crème chantilly and dispersés de bonbons.

Baby Taz received little cadeaus : complets and une photophore/bougeoir de Noël. I hope to celebrate it with some friends in about a months time so there will be more ambience de Fête but for now this will do.

Joyeux anniversaire mon petit cochon (with the dearest sentiments) !!!!!!!!!!

Nous nous t'aimons !

Mummy, Bo, Petit Suisse, Lil Miss N et Lil Miss Feisty

Bobos

Recapitulative of the major arm breaking or teeth shaking/losing accidents our brood have had thus far:

At the tender age of fifteen months Petit Suisse fell and face planted onto a shelf losing two teeth in the process. His teeth were put back in place at my aunt's dental clinic and he suffered as the only food intake he was allowed for a whole week was liquid : milk and variants of liquid dairy products via a straw. Shrek and I as a sign of solidarity had to sneakily eat our meals whilst Petit Suisse had his naps. Exactly one week later Petit Suisse whilst running around in circles tripped and fell on the wooden floorboard thereby shaking loose the two teeth that had been reimplanted previously that hadn't had a chance to regenerate itself.In a moment of panic he bawled his eyes out and swallowed both his teeth relinquishing it to the depths of his intestine. This time his teeth could not be retrieved or implanted, they were lost forever in the abyss of his intestinal digestive system.

Many days later I found the two self same darkened thus barely recognisable black teeth in his faeces and that was the end of those two frontal teeth for years. Eventually roots for his permanent teeth grew and now his set of teeth is complete.

Lil Miss N whilst playing in the playground one day during her second year as a kindergartener threw herself onto the sliding pole. She must have lost her grip, fell and as a natural defense put out her left arm to temper the fall. It was unclear as to whether anything in her arm was broken and she had it in a DIY splint (attelle). After several days the pain still did not go away so we went for a radiography and a tiny fracture was discovered au niveau de son coude à gauche. A proper splint with plaster/cast was fabricated and she wore it for several weeks...It healed.

Lil Miss Feisty fell on Tuesday 1st November in the afternoon whilst playing in the playground in the school yard where Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N were following their music course. She was playing mischievously on the slide when she decided to climb up against the slide (instead of the staircase designed for the purpose of climbing). She fell onto the ground and in a flurry of panic, precipitation and natural progression of things used her right arm to mitigate the plunge thereby breaking it. I quickly gathered the troops/my brood and sped towards the nearest hospital. Scans were taken and it was determined that she had a fratured palette humérale on her right arm. She was sent home with a temporary splint and transfered to the Children's Hospital. She had to fast for a minimum of 6 hours in order for the surgery to take place. The next morning after having suffered starvation for almost 12 hours tubes were inserted into her veins via needles. She was calm and co-operative during the shenanigans of tube insertion. She became more and more aghast and understandably so with all the tubes and gaz tied up to her. She was most uncomfortable and coupled with hunger wailed, screamed and was unconsolable. She just wanted a milk bottle but she was prohibited from this basic neccessity as we were strenuously waiting for the operation to transpire. She was finally taken to the operation block agitated, given general anasthesie and her fracture was reduced without the need for titan screws. Soulagement !!!!!!!!!!! She now has to wear a plaster splint for the next three weeks. Hopefully it will have healed and tests/scans come back innocuous: tout est en ordre after the three weeks have transpired. One of the biggest challenges we have to face whilst she still has the attelle in place is personal hygiene. Our concern involves the absolute need to avoid humidification of the plâtre which delineates/anticipates no showers or baths of any kind. As it is winter and one does not sweat or perspire nearly as much in this cold climate compared to summer it is a small consolation.

As Lil Miss Feisty's accident was the most recent dates are still fresh : on the 1st November 2011, she fell from a slide and broke her palette humérale and subsequently had to wear a plaster cast, on the 25th November 2011 she had the cast removed. All is well that ends well !

Shrek's geste d'amour

Shrek diligently and constientiously woke up at the ungodly hour of 5am in order to prepare the stock for 'Pho*? bo`' **, undoubtedly our family's favourite dish. He managed to cook pho*? on his own like a pro with the help of his assistante ( without whom he would not be able to get anything done from the horse's mouth himself).

Shrek washed the beef bones and the oxtail, blanched it under high heat to get rid of impurities, drained the self-same bones and put it in a massive 15L stockpot. He then boil it at high heat briefly and leave it simmering away with the addition of oignons piqués avec clous de girofles , gingembre, étoiles d'anis, batônnets de cannelle, graines de coriandre et graines de fenouil for 7 hours scenting the house with hints of cinnamon, star aniseed and cloves. From time to time he had to skim the stock in order to rid off the impure froth.

He then spent an hour and a half going to and from the nearest Asian grocery store that is open in order to purchase the necessary accompaniments/herbs : bean sprouts, spring onions, coriander, sawtooth herbs and Vietnamese basilic.

It was with his assistante's preparations : chopping up herbs, grisly tenderised meat and raw beef etc... We finally dégusté our effort at half past noon.

I am extremely and especially proud of Shrek today as he lovingly prepared and executed/cooked a delicious meal for the whole family. Lil Miss N declared that she loved the pho* bo` so much she requested that we prepare pho*? bo` three times a week. To that my reply was 'everything in moderation' so we can have it from time to time but three times a week would lose its appeal, not to mention the time and cost involved. Making pho*? bo`is a laborious process with lots of little hinging tasks involved, it is a time intensive and laborsome dish, not one I can whip up daily at beck and call. Petit Suisse ate a big bowl and still had room for more. He drank the bowl clean. It was a success on all counts. Pho*? ga` *** on the contrary is not so time intensive and that could be our compromise as the ingredients are more readily available.

Shrek topped the summit when he vacuumed and mopped the floor and then prepared from A to Z two bowls of piping and delicious pho*? for his and my consumption when the kids have gone to bed so we can savour and enjoy the fruit of our labour after a tiring and long day.

I loved it !!!! Ta muchly Shrek, Je t'aime mon coeur wholeheartedly !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fully fledged

Shrek has decreed that in our household at least we will not do anything half-assed : underdone. When cooking certain food that calls for cream and butter we will use the whole shebang. Low fat and light stuff are just pale ghosts that cannot replicate the same flavour burst of a fully fledged full cream.

This very same principle extends to other aspects of life. When we do anything we must do it wholeheartedly and invest our souls and whole beings into it, otherwise it is meaningless and we might as well not attempt and waste our effort in the first place.