Chocolate

Some would argue that chocolate is better than sex. You can consume as much as you like at your waistline's peril without raising the ire of anyone. Consuming chocolate ensures your anonymity and will have an effect similar to that of an orgasm without requiring you any efforts at all, if you know what I mean. Chocolate will still be here as long as you want it. It will not complicate your life in any way, shape or form. It does not argue or talk back or keep you hanging on empty promises.

It doesn't need to be wined or dined or even loved. Best of all it will not betray or cheat on you or let you down the way a lover, partner or friend can. Chocolate can be consumed in all of its glory and has millions upon millions of fans.

Chocolate, you always make my day.

Random lessons I have learnt

I will pass this lesson onto my kids.

Never ever buy rice creole. It is a punishment from GOD and this is one very important lesson that they will thank me for. Even if people offer it as a present do not be silly enough to acccept for you will be at a lost as to what the hell to do with it to make it taste good. Rice creole tasting good is not an option.

As for me my lesson has been learnt.

Consolation

I was in the middle of changing my little Baby A when little Miss N popped in to check in on what I was up to. She marvelled at the wonderment that is associated with removing the soiled nappy, wiping and putting on a new nappy, followed by dressing clothes. She is easily amused.

The conversation veered towards how babies are unable to feed or go to the loo by themselves thus me being the responsible parent must do all that for Baby A.

Little Miss N then reassured me that when I am old and have transformed into a baby mummy she will feed helpless little baby me and wipe my behind after I have poo-poo or wee-wee. Petit Suisse will be responsible for Shrek.

This is utmost reassuring as I know that in 40 years time if I have evaded Alzheimers and miraculously still have my mind intact without suffering from mild senility that I will be able to go back to my blog and point out to her that she indeed told me on this day that I will not have to suffer the fate of the aged senior of being put in an EMS (nursing home) to await my final day but will instead be able to count on her for caring for me the way I cared for Petit Suisse, her and Baby A, more specifically feeding and changing me just like one would a babe.

I suspect then that I will not be the one with senility but it might be another certain Miss N who will suffer from selective memory. She will no longer be little and will retort with

'Mum, I do not remember having this conversation with you whatsoever. You are imagining things and suffering from Alzheimers, senility or whatever else the oldies suffer from.'

Miss N, I have on record that you told me so and will hold you to your 'words' eventhough you were only three when you made the promise. You might come to regret telling me in that nonchalant manner that you would care for an elderly. Ignorance is not an excuse.

where do babies come from

In one of my tender moments with little Miss N(N for naughty) my adorable yet pigheaded daughter I was confronted with the sticky question "Where do babies come from?". I uhmmmmm and ahhhh and told her to ask her dad. I will now have to have a discussion with Shrek about this sticky subject, I think the Bee movie might come in handy.

To be continued...

Time away

I am in desperate need of a holiday and time to myself. I fear I will explode with rage and anger and frustration because I just cannot take any more of the dumbing down of my intellect and endlessly exasperating myself anymore.

Shrek

Shrek has an extraordinary ability to ruin perfectly good ingredients by making plates of borderline food from fresh and scrumptious ingredients such as prawns, capsicums and other fresh veggies by slapping together in a haphazard manner.

Photo to come, although I doubt you could tell from looking at the picture that it was a weird and bizarre concoction.

Shrek should produce a series of a TV show named aptly 'What not to eat'.

I have been meaning to post but I wanted to wait for a post-worthy piece, that is to say a carefully thought out and extraordinarily executed piece of poetry or essay or some reflections. I was kidding myself because to wait is to procrastinate until Blogger decides that my blog is not updated regularly enough thus obliterating my domain name, not that I have much clout to protect as yet.

I had many ideas spinning in the vortex of my cerebral that has thus been abandoned and not celebrated . I used to be proud of my ability and now I would be hard pressed to put together a coherent argument being as I am predicated by a tiresome task of frying my brains and exhausting my capacity for arguments with two stubborn bulls with a penchant for testing me.