Benben's birth

To be accurate and concise as much as possible I have decided to post Ben's delivery while it is still fresh in my mind.

Leading up to D-day I had been experiencing severe pelvis pain which was due to the pressure Ben usurped and exerted upon my uterus. She was apparently very eager and in position to be born.

Just as Shrek and I were finishing up our tax declaration I started to get regular contractions at 10 minute intervals. I waited as instructed by the maternity as there was no imminent birth just yet. I had figured that since it was my fourth delivery it would be relatively painless and rapid. How I was proven wrong from the outset. It was the longest and most straining experience and given all my credentials and experience nothing went according to prediction.

At 2am my water broke and this meant that I had to go to the maternity as it was the point of no return. I had to give birth naturally or be provoked. I still had some contractions but the intensity and regularity did not warrant that I would give birth right away. So began the long arduous wait. At this point in time I was very anxious and wanted to get it over with already. Had the mid-wives provoke me with a lil bit of pill popping I would have been on my way but alas no they wanted to let nature take its course. Shrek accompanied me for the 12 hour wait which seemed more like several eternities to me. The contractions definitely calmed down and I then had to be provoked by injection of ocytoxin. Contractions came but my uterus collar had not dilated much. After several hours and endless contractions later the midwife who was assisting me found the cause my unpunctured water pocket had impeded Ben's descend and she was yo-yoing back and forth on this cushion which meant that labour could not get started properly. She promptly punctured the water pocket and I dilated much better. Time came for the finale: Push, push and push some more. Alas my pushing efforts were in vain because Miss ben was playing hide and seek and decided to look up at the sky instead of down below. She was in a transverse position and two gynecologists plus two midwives attempted to guide and change and twist and turn her to a more obliging position. Anyway two hours later, an out of breath and exhausted beyond belief me was finally assisted by the ventouse (suction cup/device) and with some screaming Ben was born. When I saw her head pushing through the threshold and I pushed a few more times so that she was completely detached from me save the umbilical chord I instinctively knew that it was over and there was a sense of soulagement and relief that brought all the months and hours leading up to this very moment worthwhile.

My overriding conclusion for Ben's pregnancy is that it was pain-stricken
before, during and after but it was definitely well worth it.

I am just glad that I can put all my pregnant and childbirth experiences behind me because Shrek has done a decent thing and ensured (to the best of his ability) I will not have to worry about contraception from now on. If all the previous hardship with childbirth and raising kids had not dampened my spirit and put a conclusive demise on my attitude towards having more kids then this one singular experience alone would be the final straw on the camel's back. No more.

So Benben one day I hope you will be able to read my thoughts and feelings regarding how you came into this world.

Lovingly yours,
mum

Affliction of being the first-born

Petit Suisse has been cursed with the affliction of being the first-born. Both Shrek and I can sympathise fully as I am a first-born from my first-born parents and so is Shrek. What this affliction dictates is that in Vietnamese tradition or more generally in all of society the eldest is supposed to lead by example and is burdened with the weight of grandiose expectations and responsibilities.

Shrek rejects this practice because he knows full well how he suffered as a result of this malediction: being looked up to and having to set an example for his younger siblings because if he failed then they would follow his bad example and collectively blunder and come asunder. But nevertheless Petit Suisse still has to carry a heavy load as he whether non-intentional or not gets yelled at the most and at times blamed for collective wrong-doings that are not entirely his fault. He is chided and disciplined when he disobeys because he whether we want to admit or not is still the beacon of example at the moment. He sets a precedence and in common law precedence is what dictates judgments of cases.

I do feel horrible when I lose my temper, yell or raise my voice with all my children. I am deeply sorry that I feel sometime I unfairly raise my voice and lose my patience more regularly with Petit Suisse. I have to remind myself that he is still only a tender age of 6. I would like to improve in this aspect. I want them and especially Petit Suisse to know that I do not have false and unrealistic or grandiose expectations lined up for him just because he is the oldest. I do not want favouritism to play a role. I would like to be as fair and just as possible with all four and want them to feel loved and supported always. I do want what is best for them and that is something that is unknown to me at this stage. I do not want to impose my will but simply want them to be guided and educated and taken care of to the best of my ability and capacity. I do want them to have fulfilled and meaningful lives and do what they love (although one has to be realistic about material gains and not be too fazed by drab reality)...

In short I do want to better myself and want my children to know that as flawed and imperfect as I am, my will is to give them my all and to communicate openly, honestly and share my wisdom, experiences and most of all I want to instill a sense of humour and optimism/hopefulness. I think humour and laughter can heal and ease the pain of most of life's harsh realities.

To be able to Laugh at yourself is an ability that does not come naturally or is not inherent in us. It comes with practice as Shrek will readily admit. Shrek has come leaps and bounds in this aspect as I will attest to a Shrek the Grinch when I first began living with him to a more personable and humane/humorous Shrek of present.

Benben

Shrek has made some improvements re my maternity stays. It took him only four tries to get it almost right. Almost because it was not quite but nevertheless I appreciate the efforts he made in getting the house in order for my return from the maternity. I highly appreciate because it might not seem like much but it was still a surmountable mountain.

It is wondrous and amusing how I was the one delivering a baby and Shrek was visibly exhausted from watching. His excuse was he had not slept properly for days. Newsflash neither had I...and he had not experienced the pain before, during and after and the final hours of pushing which ended in joy because I would have been mighty upset to have to go through C-section after all that had taken place...the long and arduous wait and the prolonged suffering.

It's over and Benben is finally here and that's what matters most finally.

Also the children were fed and lobotomised... but once again it was reassuring that at least he was able to feed and lobotomise the children, no baths etc... or surplus, just the basics but that'll do.

Thank you Shrek for your gestures...

Golden showers

Not content with just being given golden showers by his kids...previously and most notably Petit Suisse and Baby Taz and most recently and spectacularly Benben including some fecal matter. Excuse my slightly scatological posting. Shrek took it upon himself to golden shower his trousers whilst being encumbered with Benben in kangaroo pouch mode. It is a preview of things to come in old age.

I know exactly what I have to look forward to tending to and caring for an elderly Shrek.

Decoupages

Elves hats and ears, crowns and spears, butterflies and bears...The latest craze to hit my household is 'decoupages'. Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N are absorbed by the desire to cut out as their fertile imagination allows them fanciful paper cut-outs of objects near and dear to their hearts. Petit Suisse's fave is 'cœur'. He loves tracing on paper patterns of hearts and cut them out and distribute them to his mummy, daddy, sis, bro and amourette.

Scavenger hunter

I do not know what the fascination is but Baby Taz is worrisomely obsessed by the rubbish bin. He loves opening and scouring waste. I do not know how many times I have repeatedly told him that it was dirty, disgusting and that he was not to touch it under any circumstances.
No, no and no, I cannot be any more clear and decisive or commanding but Unfortunately this concept of rubbish being yucky has not sunk in.

It is such that I have a scum scavenger in my family. Hopefully this phase will be short-lived.

My personal culinary triumphs and disastrous flops in the kitchen juxtaposed.

Triumphs:

My always scrumptious and impossibly moist carrot cakes. My attemps have been most satisfying and I have successfully modified the recipe to my liking with a few of my personal touches I am rather proud of. Although the last carrot cake I baked was more than two years ago for Lil Miss N's birthday carrot cake is still one of my favourite if not my favourite cake to bake and eat. I just have not been in the baking mood lately and I have a convection oven with limited capacity and function.

My very first but highly successful attempt at a 'tourte aux marrons' or 'chestnut cake'. It was moist, melt-in-your-mouth and wonderfully chestnutty.

My wontons which can be boiled and eaten in a soup/broth, deep-fried or oven-baked.

My chicken drumsticks- which I bake for a lower cholesterol version or deep-fry when I am hankering and craving oily goodness. It is a big hit with my kids.

My cream of carrot/velouté with a ginger and sweet potato twist. It is rather flavourful and with a touch of cream can do no wrong.

My version of Vietnamese pork paste (cha) which I pan fry using no oil and a Tefal anti-adhesive frying pan. The trick lies in the marinade.

My bo luc lac-shaking beef which I add just a hint of satay to.

My bun rieu- tomato based broth with crab.

My tiramisu sans œufs leaves people wanting more (mainly Petit Suisse, Lil Miss N, Baby Taz and Shrek of course)

My Vietnamese beef noodle soup is a real hit in my household. They always ask for more in my household.

My strawberry/mixed berries friands.

Any type of egg-drop soup with aparagus and crab, quail eggs, surimi/mock seafood sticks etc or any ingredients I fancy/have on hand.

My Vietnamese sandwich : banh mi with varying meats such as char siu, roast chicken, pâté, pickled condiments-carrots and daikons, coriander.


Now onto the flops
I have had quite a number of misadventures with egg whites. The first few times involved me having tainted the whisks with a tiny bit of yolk and the whites refused to rise and glisten like glossy peaks the way most recipes call for. Needless to say it frustrated me to no end. I had to abandon a few gâteau recettes because the egg whites failed to behave and cooperate.

I once made chocolate mousse and instead of sugar or what I thought was sugar added a teaspoon of MSG and subsequently salt. I will never live that one down. It was horrible.

I made the mistake of attempting to roll spring rolls while Petit Suisse was a wee baby- four months or thereabouts. He did not know I was in the middle of doing something important and as it was the year where heatwaves swept through Europe and left my mum mistaking Geneva for a typical Sydney summer it meant that the filling that was taken in and out of the fridge due to Petit Suisse's interruptions meant that I secured a sure way to poison Shrek's fragile stomach. I think that this experience traumatised me and I have not made more attempts since that disaster to make spring rolls and vow only to make them when the children are nowhere in sight. This is partly why there are lots of recipes that I am dying to try which I think will be part of my repertoire or signature dishes that I have to postpone and put off until I can have several uninterrupted and tranquil hours to kill without the fear of being hindered by demanding kids.

A few times I put too little baking powder/baking soda into a cake batter and the end result was miserable globs of barely edible baked good.

That is all I can remember for now. Only the outstandingly remarkable or unforgettable can make the list because it would be endless to include everything.

Come out come out to our welcoming arms.

Bennnnnn, if you are able to decipher and discern anything at all please end my enduring pelvis pain and enter this world. I am prepared, well never entirely ready because it still is a risk each time and there are always enjeux... It is never just a routine 'in and out' process.

I am still scared out of my wits and apprehensive and though I know more or less what to expect it does not render it more trifling or trite.

It is still an event I look forward to with dread and embrace with longing at the same time.

It is a defining moment.

So Ben it is time for you to leave the security and warmth of my womb and to embrace this brave new world.

Sew, a needle pullin thread !

Shrek is a consumate garment adjuster when called for. He shortens hems, expands and fixes chemist labcoat's flaps, make button holes and most of all use a sewing machine etc... He is a rare pearl indeed because in this day and age one will be hard pressed to find a person let alone a macho man (with a feminine eye for detail) willing and able to adjust and tailor garments/clothing to meet his needs.

I cannot begin to say how totally clueless I am when it comes to sewing.
One cannot seek for perfection. Perfection does not exist and so I am not an all-rounder who can hem.

I do have lots of graces and strong points in other areas to make up for my shortcoming. I am a consumate lover.

Mother

While my mum is becoming acquainted with the Interweb for the first time, her grandchildren are already light years ahead and I have to compete with them for the use of the computer during their waking hours.

They say necessity is the mother of invention or in my mum's case necessity creates a desire to exploit the web's wonderful and powerful tools like that of Skype/yahoo messenger and webcam facilities to keep in touch with her grandchildren who are 2 continents away.

I guess that technology is progressing at lightning fast pace and the older generations have a difficult time keeping up. Given the circumstances and necessity of keeping in touch with family who are separated by several oceans my mum has decided that it's time to try her hands at communicating via the miraculous Interweb. She still has a long way to go before she can navigate through simple menus and openly access whatever she needs on her own accord without a third party but still it's a huge step for her.