Ironman

Shrek really enjoys his once a month/once every three weeks or thereabouts ironing session. One can hear him humming and singing along to 'Nostalgie compilations' while simultaneously ironing away... It is a blessing in disguise for me the Pfaff and Shrek combo.

Tactless

Shrek has a tendency to repeat and repeat and overrepeat things--- very reminiscent of leeches.


I put a bit of ointment on Ben's nose. She coincidentally cried (maybe she wanted to be held, she was hungry and irritable or destressing..or whatever the reason could have been was of no concern to Shrek) as he was convinced she only cried because the ointment was burning her. News to you, I have used the ointment once before and she did not react to it at all. I used it on my own accord and unbeknownst to you and without any persuasion/coercing from whomever so do not make any assumptions and jump to conclusions without concrete proof. Give others the benefit of doubt unless facts prove otherwise.

I will not use it because even a small risk is still a risk but Shrek has shown himself to be unable to keep his mouth in reign. He seems to be oblivious and another apology will not be accepted as he seems to continue on this path which is getting rather old.
He should really take his own advice and learn to be more diplomatic rather than tell other people to mind what comes out of their mouths. Tact is a lesson Shrek has not learnt.

Sulk

Petit Suisse can be a bit of sulk and prone to bouts of melancholy over mega trivial things. He was really looking forward to having what he believed was going to be a buzz cut so that he could gel his hair and look cool or 'genial'. Alas Shrek shattered this dream by giving him a 12mm close shave. A close shave is one that leaves a regular length of hair all over, it's essentially a bald head that has been mown to a preset hair length no longer than 12mm... but can be as short as 4mm.

Petit sulked and cried his eyes out for a good half hour. He is convinced that mummy does a better job at cutting his hair because at least after he still has hair left. Shrek does go overboard and overkill with the hairclipper aka tondeuse.

AVS

Shrek told me many times that one of the motivations of having a big family was that we could look forward to being assured that we will be taken care of in old age by at least one of our offsprings/spawns. Hélas I just had a wake up call that warrants this theory of Shrek to be suspect and iffy at best and needs immediate revision.

I am the usual human garbage disposal because I will consume left-overs from my kids. 'Waste not, want not.' We as a family except Ben for she's too young and perhaps to a lesser extent Shrek are strawberry fiends. We can eat kilos of these in one seating, the taste is dissapointing when not yet in season because they tend to be overly acidic and sour. I did not expect to hear Petit Suisse nonchalantly telling Lil Miss N and I that he thinks it a good idea that 'all the rotten strawberries should be passed onto mummy.' So Petit Suisse reserves the worst aka rotten and foul tasting for mummy. I am forlorn about future prospects and maybe should have remained fallow.

What do you have to say to that Shrek?

His and Hers

I have my shortcomings and so does Shrek. At the moment my biggest problem seems to be prioritising. I cannot get my priorities straight, although this is in correlation to minor things...or major depending on whose point of view you take. Granted that I do misplace what needs doing most at critical times...which invariably involves Shrek all the time, funny that. Anyway to cut to the chase I have to have food on the table waiting for Shrek's arrival one Sunday night a month at 11.30pm or thereabouts so that he can simply down and swallow in lightning fast pace and then go straight to bed without any time wasted.

Shrek on the other hand has a major problem with anger management and needs to keep his temper in check and save me some major lecturing and nagging.

I will attempt to change my ways but I do not think that my 'provocation' grants Shrek to shoot his mouth off or 'engueuler'. It is his form that beseech eschewal.

I do hope that similar regretable events will not take place in the future. I will contribute and try to make sure that I do my part to prevent such an occurence from happening.

We do not see eye to eye on many issues and that is just one of the many instances.

Crêpes fest

Shrek did have enough time to make crêpes this morning and he made some 'croustillant' meaning crispy and dry crêpes.

I told him that he is a specialist in being 'le meilleur à faire les choses sans pareils.'

He is unique that Shrek, you decide if it's a good or bad thing.

Overcharge

Shrek is having a super-charged week which means he works like a madman and arrives home too exhausted to do anything else but recharge energy with alimentation and some rest and it's back to work.

He has no time for anything else but the good thing is that on Sunday night it ends and then next week will be lighter and we can do some activities together even if it just means vegging out on the couch or lobotomising over mindless and inane entertainment.

He incidentally planted the plant in soil and is taking care of it by watering when he remembers. I am eager to find out how long this plant will last...

Amourette

Petit Suisse and his lil amourette seem to be in an impasse. She is a cute but bossy mlle and I see that Petit Suisse has cooled off a bit after she repeatedly told him what to do and acted like she owned him and was his mum. We will see...

jeux des enfants...

Hayfever

I have a small suspicion that I might be suffering from a mild case of hayfever as I have itchy and irritable eyes that are puffy/have puffed up.

I have always thought that I could evade this but finally have succumbed-

Springtime will now be hellish...well I hope that I do not suffer to the same extent as Shrek.




Update: it was the Clinique moisturiser that ignited this allergic reaction. Phew at least that can easily be taken care of. Take away the moisturiser and voilà, done.

Wiggle to the max

The one lobotomising activity that is able to hypnotise and get an unanimous nod from Petit Suisse, Lil Miss N and Baby Taz is a Wiggles DVD. They can endlessly dance and shake their bottoms/booties to the same songs on repeat. They are great fans...When Shrek wants to have a little bit of peace and time to surf the net etc...he invariably puts on the Wiggles and voilà, magic they become entranced and wiggle themselves until they become breathless.

Bouquets à la Maternité

My bouquet

Shrek made a grand effort to rectify a small hitch by responding positively to my remark that he seemed not to bring me flowers for my maternity stays by bringing in a rather lovely and large bouquet which Petit Suisse and Lil Miss N helped in choosing.

I have documented this bouquet seeing is it is my final stay at the maternity and also I did not or do not recall receiving much flowers from Shrek for my previous stays hence this is to make up for lost time in a way.

2 month anniversary

I have to mark the 2 month anniversary of my precious aquatic plant that is still thriving. I have been neglegting it and have not bothered to change the water in 3 weeks but it is incredulously still here and does not show any signs of wilting...

I will definitely post a photo of it because no plant has ever survived this long before especially without Tender Loving Care from us. I do love this plant though, I just have not shown it any affection but I will rectify that shortly.

Random quiz

For a bit of trivia on Ozzie slang. Does anyone know what a dag is or what daggy means ??

You do not get any prizes but it's still worth a try.

Go on

...
,
So since Shrek has not given it a go, I will now take the liberty to respond

According to dictionary.com


–noun Australian and New Zealand Informal.
an amusing, unusual person.
Origin:
1885–90; orig. uncert.

daggy is the adjective


I was known or prided myself as a daggy queen in my heyday. To me being at the height of dagginess or daffyness aka a dag queen was tops because I never like to be normal, average or like everyone else. I always have to find a means to differentiate myself and turn heads one way or another.

Capri stew

Bravo Shrek for always balancing your faux pas with wonderful/thoughtful/good/kind deeds. The capri stew Shrek made 3 days ago tasted really great as left over today because like all stews that have been sitting for a while, the flavours stemming from herbs and spices have had time to seep into the meat leaving it flavourful and aromatic.

Another little victory and you can add capri stew to your repertoire. Although just the day before Shrek had made a weird concoction of veggies...broccoli and carrots were way too crunchy and tasted almost raw, zucchini was overcooked and mushy, in short not the greatest dish you have cooked or far from it.

Just to even things up and keep it all balanced in an equilibrium. While I am at it, I have to declare Shrek the greatest oyster opening champion/ Roi des huitres. Once he even opened his share and let me eat every single one (all 12 of them) all by myself, it shows that he has great self-control, does not fancy oysters as much as me, a bit of both and that he really loves me to be able to watch me thoroughly savouring every last bite without taking a single sip/taste of the fruit of his labour. Opening oysters is a pain in the ass and I am glad that Shrek is able to spoil me once in a while.

Love is when you can open oysters and let your partner eat without requesting a taste.

Swoon...

Yoghurt overload

We are frankly fed up with having so much yoghurt...it leaves us sated and blasé because 'absence really does make the heart grow fonder'...so how can we miss it if it hasn't left us for the past two weeks?

Greedy gluttonous has led Shrek's judgment astray when he decided to overgorge our family with superfluous/surplus purchase of Perle de Lait et al. Too much of a good thing can be an anomaly.

I still love you for trying to fill our stomachs Shrek !

Boredom

Today for some unknown reason, perhaps I can blame it on the full moon or crescent or whatever but Petit Suisse really ticked Shrek off. He must have been bored and not know what to do with himself so he used a chocolate foil wrapper and scratched the plastic LCD TV flatscreen which we have had since only a few short months, so almost brand new. He did not just leave one line or two but myriad and multitude of scratches on the screen. Shrek discovered and much to our dismay he had been indulging in this non-too-healthy but rather destructive and reckless behaviour for some time hence Shrek lost his cool a bit. I am the one that usually goes ballistic over these types of behaviour but came later...so I could not really add more injury. Petit Suisse has a tendency to do dumb things...which we will have to rectify with lots of explanations on why certain things are off-limits.

Anyway I think kids doing activities unsupervised can sometime lead to mishaps but one cannot always be following their every move and have to allow some unfortunate incidents to happen sometime as long as it does not end up in anyone being hurt...It goes hand in hand with the territory of being parents I suppose.

What pisses me off most is when Petit Suisse knows he has done something incrediby stupid and stands there dumbfounded, not acknowledging anything and becomes a muted, wide-eyed puppy who doesn't know what he has done to deserve such enraged chiding. He needs to learn pronto that if he is chided and disciplined/punished it is merited and with just cause.

I simply want children to reflect upon what they have done and think twice the next time they are about to embark on reckless acts.

i am going on a loop

One of those days

Today is one of those days where I get so fed up with changing nappies. I have lost count today. Between Benben and baby Taz I'm easily into 20+ BUT the worst thing is that both of their soiled nappies mostly consist of feces aka caca and let's just put it this way if I was not their mum I'd faint from the stink and run away, sworn off kids for good.

Crêpe flipper

Shrek's skilful arms and dextrous hands flipping the crêpe at Chandeler (sic) which happened in February where the French and by extension Swiss farewell the end of winter and cold or welcome/greet verglas (the return of silver frostbites/glazed frost) by having a Crêpes party.

The song goes something like...

Shrek you can post the lyrics in the comments section, ta muchly.

Anyway if your crêpe slips on the side then you will apparently attract bad luck.

My children love Chandeler (sic) and Shrek was happy to oblige. This is backlog but I wanted to share a photo of Shrek skilfully handling the crêpe flipping. Crêpes are one of the few food Shrek has managed with his improvisation that turn out to be quite good. Although the thickness of his crêpes are somewhat irregular, matters not because the kids are fond of Shrek's crêpes and I will more than readily admit I am hopeless at making crêpes...so I leave this task in Shrek's reliably strong arms. What a man yeah !!

Well done

Shrek needs to lighten up

Shrek has an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder when it comes to the kitchen being clutter free and spotless. I think that if a kitchen is used for cooking then it will no doubt at some point have messes, spices, foodstuffs and crockery, cutlery or pots and pans lying around...I mean if it is not being used then surely it will be shining ones reflection in its hallowed surfaces. One use the kitchen to cook and prepare meals not to leave it looking like a barren and lifeless waste of space beckoning respectful worship worthy of deity or icons and espousing the mantra 'Cleanliness is godliness'. I eschew this particular mania. Shrek needs to be reminded all the damn time that if people who dine out all the time and who do not use their kitchens for its sole purpose then they will surely have a kitchen he approves of. Alas if he continues I tell him the painful truth that I will post an advert in 'Meetic' or some other silly 'sites des rencontres like facebook et al' looking for 'une femme, mosh, TOC (French acronym for OCD), qui coud et qui va s'engager à engueler au dessus d'un ogre et qui ressembles à la sœur de Shrek'. This stops him dead in his tracks.


Learn to live with some messes and disorder because the crumbs and litter and rubbish are not going to pick themselves up and throw themselves into bins. I have learned to live and cook with onions and deal with the layers and tears. Shrek it is time you work on yourself...Living with kids mean that there are going to be some disagreements and setbacks and sacrifices...

BTW Shrek has a penchant for and tendency to leave behind a trail of yoghurt pots and his personal effects...without picking up after himself. I can spell h-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-i-c-a-l for you if you'd like Shrek.

Shrek has thrown out my roughly scribbled recipes which I painstakingly modified and had mastered...but had not filed away. I will have to search for the recipes and then make the modifications again...Travail des singes...which Shrek hates with a vengeance.


I think I have vented enough vehemence for the day. I feel justifiably much better now...until the next episode of Shrek's outburst.

Reason why we belong to the poor working class

A photo of what my fridge looks like after having spent 120 Swiss Francs on different sorts of yoghurts, most notably 'Perle de Lait', une specialité laitière Français which we love here at the Lost in Switzerland household. I must say though that having an overdose of such a delish dairy product leaves us less than enthralled. We need to starve for it by only consuming it in small, regulated doses otherwise it loses its charm.

We are big yoghurt consumers as can be deducted from the depiction of our fridge. We go through phases of veggies, fruits, cheese, yoghurts, meats and fishes...

The reason we are poverty stricken is because it is not cheap to feed 'les faims des loups' ah ooooh wah oooooooh and to buy nappies for two overly anally active babies, mostly Ben and Baby Taz to a lesser extent. It will only become more expensive the older and more exigeant and demanding they become.

Physical ed

A curious reading choice by Petit Suisse sees him choosing on his own accord 'The encyclopedia sur la vie sexuelle'. He expects Shrek to accompany him in guiding his understanding of male sexuality and human sexuality in general. They really do start young and are much more precoce than their foreparents.

Newsfeed

Shrek has been rather helpful and placid lately. He has been somewhat transformed, tamed and domesticated much like myself. This analogy is taken directly from his favourite book 'Le petit Prince'.

Bravo Shrek ! Keep up the good work and do not slide back into abominable and lamentable behaviour.

Resume

02.04.03 marked the birth of Petit Suisse and yesterday 02.04.09 was his 6th birthday.

In the six years I have lived in Geneva I have amounted to a resume that consists of but not limited to child bearing, child rearing, housekeeping, nappies changing (I must be in the thousands and counting), breast feeding, reasoning with toddlers and mangling of my mindset at times thanks to Shrek. I steadfastly believe that Shrek took four tries before he even made a slight inroad into a behaviour that was acceptable and harmonious with a hormonally raging mum to be.

Glorious isn't it? Ultra glamorous too given that I ballooned and looked like a bag lady towards the end of my four pregnancies. The fourth and last birth still leaves me with a less than desired flabby figure and a curved round belly which I need to lose. It is going to be a bit of a struggle especially since I do have a weakness for snacking and a sweet tooth prone to indulging... sweets and snacks are my vices...

I know that many women nowadays struggle with infertility and would more than anything in the world wish for the presence of a child but I have the opposite problem: rampant fertility (and I must add Shrek's lack of responsible contraception) interferes with the rest of my projects. I seriously will have a nervous breakdown if I was to find out that I have to deal with more childbirth. Suffice to say I am more than up to my neck in it. I look forward to doing other things and having some breathing space and being more than mum and wife even if I do not have an illustrious career to speak of I can still pursue other interests and read more intelligible literature and intellectual material which I seem to have abandoned since the inception and conception of a series of babies. I feel like a serial mum who has been bogged down by intellectual exhaustion more than anything else.

I do sound like a sour grape and I do not want to complain but in the past I have withheld information and kept up a brave face and then lived to regret that as it meant that I suffered mentally and silently in vain and had no support and could not vent my frustration or anger. It was very unhealthy and I decided once and for all to use my blog as a form of therapy. At least I hope that by doing so I will be the better for my kids and Shrek and my other loved ones. I think in the beginning when Shrek was an insensitive and uncaring (unintentionally perhaps) jerk, I especially did not want my mum to know the real state of affairs.It is a shame my mum lives far away and she feels rather helpless when it comes to me. Being so far away means that I hide my sorrows and she cannot decipher or witness my sadness and desperation. She is worried bout how I get on and I want to reassure her that I am OK.

I would like to educate my children but at the moment it is a highly sporadic effort as Baby Taz and Benben are too small for me to be able to teach. The other problem lies in the fact Baby Taz has a tendency to interfere and to vie for attention (rather understandably so) when I attempt to edify Petit Suisse or Lil Miss N which renders my lessons impossible because noone can concentrate with a screaming baby. When they are all school age I will revel in teaching and enlightening them.

Forever young

What is it about grown women that makes them awww and ahhh at mildly cute but annoying little insidious cartoon characters such as Hello Kitty or Pucca...

Lil Miss N is still at that cutesy stage of being interested in all things hyper girly such as 'Strawberry Shortcake', 'Dora', 'The Powerpuff Girls/Supernanas' or Hello Kitty.

I guess deep down we never really grow up just as Shrek can easily become nostalgic and watch Cobra for hours on end.

There is no harm in childishness after all. Staying young mentally keeps one from keeling over into the abyss of responsible adulthood.

I will sheepishly admit that my daggy self find Hello Kitty and Strawberry Shortcake/Charlotte aux Fraises damn cute and adorable and appealing thus I fall into the category of grown women who strangely find ultra kiddy merchandising and ploys trendy. Maybe Lil Miss N got it from me... that wouldn't be half surprising now would it?

Reassurance of sorts : Mummy first

I have been relieved because the reassurance from Petit Suisse that

Premier: mummy
Deuxieme: son amourette

Mummy's number one and second is his lil puppy love. Besides that there are no others.

I think Petit Suisse had some coercing from Shrek to reassure me that I am not redundant yet.
I don't take anything they say or do at this stage all too seriously. I just find it amusing and one day when my kids are older will remind them of their antics and kiddy ways which hopefully will bring about a smile or hearty laugh. Either way I am convinced that one should see life in a lighthearted manner and be able to laugh at oneself.