Resume

02.04.03 marked the birth of Petit Suisse and yesterday 02.04.09 was his 6th birthday.

In the six years I have lived in Geneva I have amounted to a resume that consists of but not limited to child bearing, child rearing, housekeeping, nappies changing (I must be in the thousands and counting), breast feeding, reasoning with toddlers and mangling of my mindset at times thanks to Shrek. I steadfastly believe that Shrek took four tries before he even made a slight inroad into a behaviour that was acceptable and harmonious with a hormonally raging mum to be.

Glorious isn't it? Ultra glamorous too given that I ballooned and looked like a bag lady towards the end of my four pregnancies. The fourth and last birth still leaves me with a less than desired flabby figure and a curved round belly which I need to lose. It is going to be a bit of a struggle especially since I do have a weakness for snacking and a sweet tooth prone to indulging... sweets and snacks are my vices...

I know that many women nowadays struggle with infertility and would more than anything in the world wish for the presence of a child but I have the opposite problem: rampant fertility (and I must add Shrek's lack of responsible contraception) interferes with the rest of my projects. I seriously will have a nervous breakdown if I was to find out that I have to deal with more childbirth. Suffice to say I am more than up to my neck in it. I look forward to doing other things and having some breathing space and being more than mum and wife even if I do not have an illustrious career to speak of I can still pursue other interests and read more intelligible literature and intellectual material which I seem to have abandoned since the inception and conception of a series of babies. I feel like a serial mum who has been bogged down by intellectual exhaustion more than anything else.

I do sound like a sour grape and I do not want to complain but in the past I have withheld information and kept up a brave face and then lived to regret that as it meant that I suffered mentally and silently in vain and had no support and could not vent my frustration or anger. It was very unhealthy and I decided once and for all to use my blog as a form of therapy. At least I hope that by doing so I will be the better for my kids and Shrek and my other loved ones. I think in the beginning when Shrek was an insensitive and uncaring (unintentionally perhaps) jerk, I especially did not want my mum to know the real state of affairs.It is a shame my mum lives far away and she feels rather helpless when it comes to me. Being so far away means that I hide my sorrows and she cannot decipher or witness my sadness and desperation. She is worried bout how I get on and I want to reassure her that I am OK.

I would like to educate my children but at the moment it is a highly sporadic effort as Baby Taz and Benben are too small for me to be able to teach. The other problem lies in the fact Baby Taz has a tendency to interfere and to vie for attention (rather understandably so) when I attempt to edify Petit Suisse or Lil Miss N which renders my lessons impossible because noone can concentrate with a screaming baby. When they are all school age I will revel in teaching and enlightening them.